first, carter can swim. not very far, but he does it--he just launches himself in the water a la ironman starters and swims about 7 feet underwater, pops up, turns around, and does it again. he is SO PROUD of himself. he has been doing this for a while now. pretty cool.

he suddenly LOVES painting. he liked it before, one could even say loved it, but his enthusiasm wore off after a while, and it was just about the visual-tactile experience. at some point he discovered representation, and now he is so empowered by the ability to draw/paint a picture of SOMETHING. of course, one always has to ask him in a gentle way as to its identity -- i like "tell me about this picture..." -- the other proud moment was when he realized he actually could learn how to write letters. i think he assumed this was something only big people could do. he doesn't like to do it that much, but when he succeeds, he is very vocal about it.

today, ava had 2 friends from soccer over and they all wanted to paint, and carter joined them very enthusiastically, and did a very complicated and very intense rendering of what he ultimately called "windows." for her part, ava managed to churn out about 8 very interesting, balanced abstract compositions that were done with such seriousness i could not disturb her. afterwards, she said "i just SEE the picture in my head first, and then i paint it..."

it's weird. she has always liked art, but never approached it like other kids. some kids seem to have a natural talent for drawing and representation, which she does not have -- basically, in that regard, she is pretty much like any other 5 year old. but she has this intense need for everything to be composed just so.

as for the above mentioned playdate, holy cow. what an intense couple of hours. first, the 2 girls were older than ava--1 and 2 years--and second, carter was personna non grata among them. i could see that ava was struggling with this--go with the girls and exclude him, or go with her gut and include him--and so i stepped in and removed him by offering to let him wash the dishes. additionally, i learned a very valuable lesson: do not offer choices when you have more than 2 children to feed. choices are a good thing, generally, but not with a crowd. in that situation, you become a restaurant.

soccer camp is officially over, and we weathered it better this time. which bodes well for school. while ava was at soccer, carter and i explored the woods and fields behind the fields, and stumbled upon the biggest berry patch i have ever seen. we managed to fill a container in a half hour--or rather I managed to do so. when in the woods, carter is full of adventurous narration, telling me about the wild animals (wild chipmunks!) that he is going to take care of, and sea serpents ("wait...i have a field jounal here in my rescue pack, let me see what it says...") and otherr various foes. he has pop guns and fire guns and bows and arrows, a space helmet, shoulder pads, gloves, elbow pads, special jackets, and boots. of course, i need to don these items too, so we look like a troup of insane mimes hiking through the forest. it is so different from being with ava. she was far more interested in the flora and fauna, and her literal surroundings. with him, it is one big imaginative adventure.

fortunately, both of them have given up on insisting that they are diego and alicia--the phase seems to have passed. thank god.

carter has of course managed to fall in live with another few girls too. the vehemence with which he surrenders all of his emotions to these girls is almost frightening.

i take some of that back. carter was in the living room, and when i went in to check on him, he was sitting in front of the olympics, and very seriously turned to me and said "mom. michael phelps is a REALLY good swimmer."

"yup, he sure is!"

"yeah. you should see this."

and then he proceeded to tell me who won the last 2 races. huh. funny what happens when ava is at soccer camp!

Carter’s birthday was today. 3 years. He had a good day, spent the early part of it with Dad, a really big deal, and then we had a little celebration here at home. Both kids had been begging me for lobster all summer, so, knowing full well how much lobster they would eat, I said “for Carter’s birthday…” Of course, we had no trouble rounding up some willing adults to help us finish the lobster, and I was sure to make pasta for the kids. Really, they thought simply having a live lobster in the house – one that could be put on the kitchen floor—was the best part. Carter had requested a pirate party (which ultimately morphed into a pirate/fire truck party) and so Nana supplied us with pirate paraphernalia, and all of the presents went over very well, though the playmobile fire truck definitely eclipsed everything in the immediate moment. He has been eyeing it for weeks, and yesterday I managed to get it without notice. Gradually he started to notice everything else, particularly the fire truck pop-up vehicle that Nana got him—both kids can fit inside, so Ava was thrilled. Ava busied herself with everything else, and then I brought out the second round. The Bruder tractor from grandma was great—he thought it was a “grader with a bucket” when it was in the box, but then he realized that it was a tractor. I just love Bruder and Playmobile.

One of the biggest hits was the whoopee cushion I got him. Talk about easy humor. Ava stayed true to form and got him 3 gifts, all of her own choosing. She may forget how to manage her frustrations with him occasionally, but her heart is in the right place. She never forgets a gift, and will use any reason to give him one. She was more excited to give him a present than she was to get the few things that I got her.

Soccer camp starts tomorrow. I think this is good. She is excited, and given all of the rain we have had, the solid outdoor time will be good for her. Last week, we climbed Mount Cobble, and the trail was muddy all the way to the top, simply unheard of in August. It was astonishing. Of course, that has meant extra mosquitoes, and the hike was no exception. Both kids managed very well though—there was a significant scramble across a big stretch of rock that was pretty exposed that both kids handled like little mountain goats. We managed to escape the hike without carting home 20 rocks and 14 sticks by some clever suggestions to Carter to throw his treasures in the pond at the bottom. We have more piles of rocks, pinecones, acorns, and sticks than I ever thought possible.

Speaking of nature, monarch season is upon us, and we have so far ushered one caterpillar to adulthood, and we have another chrysalis brewing, and one very large caterpillar ready to transform himself. But we have had a hard time finding them. All of the milkweed patches have been without caterpillars, and I am wondering if this is a result of the weather.

And of course, the Olympics have begun. I have suspended the TV rules, and it is pretty much on a lot. Ava watched the opening ceremonies, and if you saw it, you know that there was a giant scroll on the floor of the stadium at one point, to celebrate the Chinese invention of paper—Ava LOVED the whole concept of a scroll, and the next morning she hid herself in the hallway to make her own, emerging with a long scroll with a picture taped to the center. It was great. She also made me haul out the world map we have, and find all of the countries as they were announced in the parade of athletes. It kept me on my toes, for sure. Carter has not been as interested in the Olympics, but Ava is watching the sports like a hawk. She keeps calling “MOM! You HAVE to see this!!” She gets it. Perhaps not the actual scale, but pretty close.

And the other thing to mention is how she can hear a word spelled and know what it is. Nearly every time. This is so interesting to me, because I am fairly certain that she can read, but she doesn’t know it. When she doesn’t think about it, she does it automatically. Which I assume is how it should be. But it will be nice when she consciously figures out that this huge world is available to her.

As for Carter, we were reading Angelina’s Christmas, and he was looking at the title, and he said “Mom, what’s that whistle thing?” – He was referring to the apostrophe. Just when you think he is not paying attention, he comes up with a question like that. He is so normal, so laid back, so easy going, but I think that is a cover for a pretty intense little mind. (And I don't think I ever thought of an apostrophe as a whistle...)

We have a new routine at bedtime, where we each say something nice to each other, and say “I love you, and goodnight, and then give a hug and a kiss. It is so funny—if I forget, both kids immediately tell me that we forgot. Of course, sometimes they have a hard time coming up with something nice that is original, and if Ava is feeling a little irritated with me, she might come up with something that is basically meaningless (like “I love the way you drink water, mom..”), but that is fine—it is the idea of the routine that I am concerned with, and frankly it is their relationship that is important.

My favorite part is when Carter blows he both a kiss AND a hug. How do you blow a hug? Circle your arms in front of you, then open them gently, allowing the hug to float over to the recipient. What a guy.

I’m pregnant. Almost 11 weeks. Feeling pretty much like doody, but happy. I have been falling asleep at 7:30 with the kids every night, and thus not writing. Each day, I make it through with barely enough energy to fold the laundry and then collapse and promise to write the next day.
Reactions from others have been pretty much positive, with some notable exceptions. The kids are excited though—I would not have told them this early, but Ava overheard me make a doctor’s appointment, and I naively said “I’m 6 weeks pregnant.” Duh. She came flying at me, screaming “you’re having a baby!!!”

Carter is dying for it to be winter so that he can finally see the baby. Occasionally, he yells “hi baby!” at my belly. Ava just talks incessantly about how she is going to play with the baby, take care of the baby, etc. They both talk about what they are going to teach the baby. Ava is going to teach him or her ballet and skating, and Carter is going to teach him or her how to wakeboard.

So, needless to say, getting through Ava’s birthday had an added challenge. Adding to the physical exhaustion, for the 2nd year in a row, I woke up at 3 AM, thinking about everything I had to do. The party went off well, albeit totally not as I had planned. I had almost postponed it because so many kids were out of town, but it ended up being just the right amount of children, once siblings were accounted for. The fairy decorations were GREAT, I have to say. I bought tulle and garlands of silk flowers and made a little fairy-land by draping them around the house – from the ceiling, various lighting fixtures, etc. It was hard for those of us over 5 feet in height, but very effective. I had all sorts of costumes for the kids, and Ava is so into dressing up, I forgot that others might not be. It was so weird—Ava very enthusiastically would invite the kids to put on wings and a tutu, and they would say no, and she would just look at them dumbfounded. Not upset, just unable to grasp why anyone would not want to be a beautiful dancing fairy. But kids are great, and they all figured out how to have a great time. Presents, candy, cake and favors are pretty much a good bet. We still have to do thank you notes.

After the party, I had a Very Stressful Week, which was ok, but just brought up all sorts of crap that I can’t stand dealing with, so we ended the Very Stressful Week with a visit to my yoga friend in Burlington. She has a 6-year-old child, and is pretty much a saint, and the kids had a blast, which was the point. She is so different, and so free, and so open, and is just a model for humanity. And you know, it is not hard. Be nice. Simple. Why is it so hard for some people to do that?

The first night we slept in a tent in the backyard (their house is very small), and it was fun to wake up and drink my (decaf) coffee while Ava jumped on the trampoline at 6 AM. So weird how hard it is to get outside early in the morning, but how great it is when you wake up there. The second night, it was pouring, so we crashed inside. On the third day, I took all of the kids to Shelburne Farms, where Kathy’s son managed to catch about 20 of the 50 or so chickens. I was amazed. He and Ava founf 2 eggs too. That was very cool. The rooster freaked me out—he had those horns/spikes, but no one seemed too worried about him, and the pig had just had babies—I cannot tell you how cute these piglets were.

We came home, remembered that there were auditions for Robin Hood the following morning, woke up, went to the theater and then had a terrible experience. The flyer had said “5-16 years” – but the man in charge got up and said “if you are 5 years old AND have completed kindergarten…” HELLO? This is NOT what the promotional material said, and moreover, how many 5-year-olds are going into 1st grade these days? It was an example of terrible communication between the theater company and the arts center, and neither party was willing to accept responsibility. I know, because I fired off a few emails that were somewhat sharply worded. It did not resolve anything, but it made Ava feel better to hear that mama stuck up for her.

And since then, all I have been doing is cleaning.

That is the last 2 weeks in a nutshell. Oh, and I finished The Post-Birthday World. More on that later. Right now, it is WAY past my bedtime.

i went to a yoga thing over the last few days--it was supposed to be a 7-day conference/workshop,but du to many many things going on, many many of which are about as far from yoga as one could get (good training...), i only went to 4 of the 7 days. given how i have been feeling, this was just about right. thank you nana for all of your help, i know it was exhausting.

it was a terrific experience, as usual, and i learned a whole bunch, most notably, how to assist people in different postures. the most significant one for me was learning how to 'assist' or 'do' savasana for people. for those who don't know, savasana is 'corpse pose' in which you are lying flat on your back, in a state of relaxation. there's more, but that's the basic idea--it is done at the end of a practice in order to relax and absorb the effects of the pactice. anyway, if you have someone to assist you, relaxing is a lot easier, because it basically becomes a massage--not whole body, but feet, hands, neck, head, as well as pulling on the legs to lengthen out of the hips, adjusting shoulder blades, etc etc.

as we were learning this, it was very interesting and i enjoyed it, but it did not hit me until i arrived home and was puting ava to bed that this would be a very useful thing for her at night. so, i did it. not only did she fall asleep instantly (she did take the time to say "that feels really good" when i was pulling on her legs), but she did not squirm, fidget, start snapping -- which is her ants in the pants thing lately -- or even say a word other than the above commentary and a little giggle when i tried to pull on her toes. my gratitude to the universe was huge. i could not believe how she responded.

the other day, carter complained that his nose was bleeding. we have had this issue in the past a few times, and so i was ready to see the evidence--but there was none. so i said, "honey, your nose is not bleeding..."

"yes it is! it huurrrrrrrrts!" he wailed.

"ok, well, let's get a tissue...ok, here...blow...............what is that??? carter, look! you had a carrot in your nose!"

it was a chewed up (large) piece of carrot that he must have inhaled into his nasal cavity at some point.

i cannot explain the hilarity that ensued. both ava and carter thought that the fact that you could put something in your mouth and have it come out your nose was just the funniest thing ever.

we have had a lot of beach time this week. ava inserted herself into a group of 10-year-old boys who were digging a very deep (up to her shoulders) hole, and bless their souls, they welcomed her graciously. she was THRILLED to be allowed to help. and then they were being silly in a way that only 10-year-olds can be, and she was laughing and laughing and laughing her head off. not sure how much i will appreciate this trend when she is 15, but now it was pretty cute to watch her join in.

i helped carter with another set of holes and castles, and i now have blisters on my fingertips from all the sand digging that i have done. apparently this causes a bit of commotion, as 2 mothers have approached me in the store to comment on my involvement in the sand construction--and both have said "i am so over all that..." which, i suppose is something you might feel after 10 years of castle-building, but right now, it is fun to see their ideas get going with just a little prompting. the way i look at it is that i am not coming home sand-free, no matter what i do, so why not build a castle? really, it's fun.

however, i have to say that as much as i admire them, i am getting a bit tired of the ironmen and women. the ironman is this weekend, and they are everywhere (as they should be). problem is, they seem to forget that we are here too. one woman basically jumped on ava today as she was demonstrating a swim start for her buddies--and had i not been completely flabbergasted as well as totally unable to catch her, i would have said something. unfortunately i will never be able to identify her without goggles and a swim cap. another swerved right in front of my car tonight--now i LOVE road biking, and i am super duper conscious of bikers, but there is not a lot i can do if you suddenly veer off the shoulder into the middle of my lane when i am oh, 40 feet away from you and traveling 20 more mph than you are. it was really bizarre, but no one was hurt and she eventually (after a minute or so of creating a huge line of crawling traffic) moved back over.

finally, tonight ava and carter got in a huge squabble over some toy. i came in to intervene and when i calmly tried to talk about it, ava pulled out some of her most impressive impersonations of a teenager that she could find. it got to a point that was unacceptable as far as i was concerned, so i walked away. she needed something, and when she could not get it, she became more and more frantic, and making worse and worse choices regarding the words she used. i stayed calm (very difficult), and just repeated that this was not ok. finally she stormed off. a few minutes later, she reappeared and asked me what the words to "that mary prayer" were. previously, i had suggested to ava that since nothing i say to comfort her works to calm her down, she should try talking to mary and asking her for help--and i taught her the hail mary. i have no idea why (well, besides the obvious saintliness/mother of god/all around holy lady bit), but mary is ava's heroine. so, i repeated the prayer for her, and then she sat quietly--i went into the other room, and about 3 minutes later, she came in and said "mommy, i'm sorry..." and crawled in my lap and talked it all over with me. you could not have had a more abrupt change in attitude.

i asked her if mary helped, and she said "yes, but the first time i did not pray long enough, and nothing happened. but the second time it worked..."

all i can say is thank you, yet again, mary.

i know it is summer, soccer camp is over, we took a week off, blah blah blah. i don't know why, but we are still so crazy busy. i guess, no matter what is going on, there will always be a thousand things to do. right now we are trying to empty the storage area, which has had all of our "nonessentials" for over a year while we planned and postponed our move. unfortunately, the first round of bins were put in a back room and ignored for a few weeks. but, i just can't deal with knowing that there is a mess behind a door. i wish i could, but things like junk drawers and junk closets--or in this case, junk rooms--just drive me insane. (thanks mom). yesterday, since it was raining, i pulled out a pile of dress-up cloths, blankets of varying sizes--from a king feather bed to a doll blanket, and yet another bin of stuffed animals and piled all of it in my "office" (also a depository for all of the bags and paraphenalia that we use on a regular basis), and the kids just went to town. i added music and 4 hours later the kids were still going strong.

amazing what they can come up with. granted, most of their toys migrated into the room with them, so by that point, i had a clean "storage" room, but 4 (playroom, 2 bedrooms, my office) very very very cluttered and chaotic rooms. that is when i go looking for the broom and sweep it all into one large pile in one large room.

the project continues today. i dread going to the storage area and hauling another 5 huge bins, but i really would like to get this accomplished before ava's party. which is approaching fast. she is having a fairy party. we have all sorts of decorations, etc., but the one thing we really really need is mosquito netting, and you would think that this would not be hard to find in the adirondack park where i think there are 5000 varieties of biting insects. but it is. impossible. we are going to have to drive to plattsburgh (ugh) to go to the craft store to find something equivalent. and i also have to decide if i want to make the guests fairy wings (hangers and white stockings apparently accomplish this) or if i want to just go buy them. i promised that costumes would be provided. that was when i was feeling very motivated. and carter has said that he wants a blue party, a jumpy party, and a pirate party. i am lobbying for a repeat of the blue party. that was easy.