Ava folded up a piece of paper in alternating strips and then held her creation aloft and said “look! I have an accordion!” I know, beyond ANY shadow of a doubt, that I have never discussed accordions with her. Nor have I done origami in any form.

Last night was very rough. I am not sure why Carter was as fussy as he was, but he cried from 5:30 til 7:30. Nothing I did would help. Holding, feeding, playing, rocking, and so on. None of it was ok. I know babies get colicky, but he is 6 ½ months! I am pretty sure he was just tired, but he would NOT go to sleep. Ava on the other hand managed to say “Mommy, I’m not tired, I can’t fall asleep, I need to….” and she was out. All while Carter was crying. She has changed so much, and now is a sleeper. Giving up the nap was the best thing she ever did. And she is quiet as a mouse when she slips into bed with me; often I don’t even know that she is there.

Carter eventually fell asleep on my tummy, and was basically catatonic. It was bliss for both of us, I believe. Every mother says this, but they are so beautiful when they are sleeping. It is not just a matter of beautiful—they are so trusting. He was completely draped over me, and so content, and I guess really the word is secure. It is such an amazing feeling to know that you are the person responsible for another human being’s sense of safety. Yes, there is that “oh, my god, I am responsible for this person’s life” moment when the kids are born, but I mean something different—I mean the feeling of awe that the little person next to you feels so protected and safe simply by being loved. It is like they are just soaking it up and sending it right back to you. And it makes you feel like you are going to explode with happiness.

This is hard to put into words.