Ava’s aesthetic is so unique. Her favorite colors are black and white and she is incredibly adamant about it. What is interesting is that it is so far beyond any peer influence that might have been a factor in creating opinion. You can be sure that none of the girls in her class are thinking black and white…She refuses to budge too. It was a little touchy when she started coloring her valentine hearts all black, and I feared the inevitable reaction on the part of parents and teachers, but she managed to find inspiration in the white glitter glue, and so I dodged that one. And she assigns no particular weight to white and black—she loves them equally. But not grey. And no complicated patterns, no frou frou. And plaid is an absolute no-go.

She is equally opinionated regarding food too. Suddenly, and completely randomly, she announced that she does not like pizza anymore. She still loves vegetable sushi. And if I want her to eat in the morning, I had better not offer breakfast food. The most effective strategy is to offer her raw vegetables. This morning she asked for red pepper. And generally, if I set out a plate of very plain food, she will eat a good bit. She will often ask for chickpeas and some bread and some cheese and some carrots. But if I suggest a cheese sandwich, she refuses it. It all needs to be separate and plain. (Pasta is a notable exception). However, one very effective strategy is ‘noodle soup’ – I can get both of them to eat a ton of vegetables, just by chopping them up quite small and boiling them in broth with some whole grain noodles. Periodically I get inspired and make some chicken dish, or pork chops or whatever. And I keep it kid-friendly: no big spice, no onions/garlic, just sauce or cheese or whatever. And I have to practically beg them to eat it. When I do this, I think, ok, I am never doing this again—I made a huge mess, spent a ton of time cooking, and I am giving it to the dog. But I do repeat this approximately every 2 weeks, usually after reading a magazine loaded with recipes. And then, after I clear their plates, scrape them in the dog bowl, and set out new plates—a bowl of hummus for Carter to eat with a spoon, along with cucumbers and strawberries on the side, and a plate of chickpeas and salad and whole grain bread for Ava, I look at them and realize their preferences are actually healthier than the meal that I had spent hours cooking. Here’s to plain and simple.

And Carter has suddenly expressed an interest in art. Drawing and painting. He likes to make “big circles:”

“carter, what are you drawing?”

“oh, nothing, just big circles…”

“they are very nice” (ava: "weeelllll...they aren't really THAT great--they aren't really round...see carter, let me show you..." and then mom has to run interference before carter explodes in agony over ava's attempts to 'fix' his drawing) ... "carter, your circles are wonderul the way they are..."

“yes. VERY nice. VERY pretty.”

But he also will make little hatch marks, and refer to these as his numbers and letters. He has been obsessed with counting to 20 (he skips 10 every time), and I was wondering if he had any interest in the alphabet. Today I asked him if he could find the M on a magazine ad that had “MATTERS” in huge letters in the middle.

“Right Dere!” he announced and pointed to a little teeny tiny M in the background that I had not even noticed (the whole background was “what matters” written over and over in small, light grey text).

“and dere! And dere! And dere! M right dere too!” and he proceeded to find them all. So, somewhere along the way, he is learning his letters. Like talking, he is just keeping it a big secret.