with the exception of the time it was on in the ER when carter was 2.5 years old and getting sutures, the kids have never watched spongebob. ever. i have a thing about spongebob, though i am not sure what, because i have never watched it either. it has something to do with media and consumerism and marketing and well, frankly, the aesthetics of it all. i just don't like the way spongebob looks i guess.

anyway, there are enough mommy-sanctioned shows on tv that i do not feel in the least like i am depriving my kids, even when their peers look at them oddly when they admit to not knowing that sponge bob or hanna montana (another rant entirely) are actually tv shows.

so, imagine my surprise when carter made a beeline for the spongebob fruit snacks in the grocery store. now i also hate fruit snacks, though with a grudging appreciation for their usefullness. they represent a confluence of literally all the things i can't stand about kid-culture: tv, sugar (or really high fructose corn syrup), loads of other ridiculous ingredients, deceptive marketing (fruit? how many times do i have to explain to the kids that they are NOT fruit???), industrial food--and so on.

but did he go for the diego fruit snacks? the spiderman fruit snacks? scooby snacks?? oh, no. he went for the manic yellow sponge. and THEN he had to sing, at the top of his lungs:

"sponge BOB! i love sponge BOB! spuuuuuuuunnnnge Ba a a a a a a a aaaaaaB! SPONGE BOB!!!"

oh my god.

for me to say "but carter, you don't even watch sponge bob!" would have technically been true, but it would have sounded like a mother trying to cover up her parenting lapses. so, i let it slide, and threw the box in the cart only to put it back on the shelf next to the triscuits when carter wasn't looking.

i am just floored by the power of that god forsaken sponge. and i am starting to grasp that unless we move to namibia, he is going to win. which really ticks me off.