I have been struggling to write recently, both because there is simply no time, but also I was feeling very uninspired. No clue why, other than perhaps an existential crisis that I can't resolve. But it is such a cliched existential crisis (think 40 years) that I can't even bear to go into it. And it is not really a crisis. Just a preoccupation. That and I have also been enjoying a new pleasure--the absence of a completely evil person trying to destroy my family. A four-year ordeal is finally over. The closure of this chapter in our life has been immensely enjoyable, and it is a pleasure that I am savoring slowly. (This may not make a lot of sense, but it was very nice to be able to say, "oh, for goodness sake, here...now go away."). Honestly, I get a good laugh out of the outcome rather often. Someday I will write about the details. Not now.

So, I have had a lot of things on my mind, but none of which I have felt like writing about. And I have done some writing elsewhere, which I think I might post here, soon.

I have been really enjoying Anna and especially the way her siblings are completely in love with her. She is a riot, she understands everything, has a weird obsession with socks, LOVES legos, adores her books and sits with them open in her lap and 'reads' them out loud (she is not a quiet child), will bring a book to you and insist on sitting down exactly where you are to read it--she holds it up to you until you take it, turns around with a satisfied smile and plunks herself on her bottom at your feet, looking up expectantly. We have done this in the bathroom, loading the dishwasher, in the entrance hall, and in the laundry room, among other places. She continues to climb everything, loves to slide, tries to push Carter and Ava on the swings, and is addicted to me scratching her belly. She cuddles like a champion, she loves to loll in bed, and I think that I finally had enough children to get an eater out of the bunch. She won't drink out of a sippy cup, but has a regular cup almost down pat. She loves to get dressed and constantly tries to put clothes on. The other day Ava put her pink superhero cape on Anna and it was the cutes thing I have seen in a while. And she is not afraid to let you know that she is MAD. For all of her complacency as a baby, she is 100% a toddler now.

Ava started Karate, and as expected, loves it. Carter will get to start when he is 5. We tried t-ball for Carter, but he really did not seem to enjoy the "hey, throw this repeatedly to that little boy over there that you are supposed to have a bond with because he is on your team even though you don't know him at all" aspect of it. That and the giant playground just across the field that his sisters were playing on while he had "practice" was just too much to ignore. So, we released him from his obligation and let him go sit in the sandbox and play tag. He is incredibly athletic, but also equally cerebral. It creates a bit of an enigma. The other day, he was lying in bed and he said "mom? who controls my body?" This led to a discussion about his brain, and the subsequent questions went deeper and deeper into the very heart of the philosophy of consciousness. He just kept taking it up a notch--as in, if I am speaking, who is making me speak? Who is making me want to speak? Who is making me think? and on and on. Then he asked if his brain had buttons on it. I said, no, it is made of cells. He said "I know what cells are! My body is made of cells!" I said yes, and your brain is made up of special cells called neurons. His efforts to identify his body/mind/soul/consciousness are phenomenal.

Oh, and I can't believe I forgot! ANNA TINKLED ON THE POTTY!