The difference between Ava and Carter is so incredible. Carter is SO intent on his body--he has such an awareness of it. I think that is kinesthetic awareness, if I am remembering correctly. This translates into a lot of good saves on his part. Nearly every time I think he is going to fall, he manages to protect himself quite well.
Ava, on the other hand, is so not intent on her body. She hurls herself through space without a second's thought about where she is in relation to solid objects, including the earth itself. I swear to god, she rides her trike looking over her shoulder. I have to constantly remind her that her eyes need to go in the same direction as her feet. She is constantly thinking about everything else, and clearly not about something so mundane as her own physical body. This translates into a lot of crashes. And a lot of wincing on Mom's part.
Ava figured out that I can tell her stories, even if we are not in the vicinity of a book. This puts the pressure on me to come up with good stories, but so far, I think I have done pretty well. We have a runnning series about Joe and Lucy the bear cubs that get into all sorts of predicaments in their home way out in Jackson Hole, WY, and the retelling of the stories over and over allows me to refine them much as a creative writing course does. It is hard work coming up with novel plots. Dad, your Flopsy and Mopsy stories were always appreciated, but now I appreciate them even more. (and I doubt I could ever come up with a better story than the one where they have to sew their cottontail back on!)
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Their immense contribution to the study of genetics aside, I can say that I have truly developed an extraordinary loathing for fruit flies. I never was chummy with them, but also never felt this much animosity. Nothing can be on our counters for even 5 minutes. I cannot even cook without them reappearing. I have nothing out, I swear. There are no hidden bags of potatoes under a sink (a memorable discovery in my [male] friend's kitchen several years ago), there is no fruit, no dried fruit, nothing nothing nothing. And yet they are lying in wait, as if they are convinced that I really am going to forget about them and recreate the fruit bowl on the counter. Last night was the last straw. I emptied the diaper bag, and put the contents in their various assigned places--the snacks and drinks in the kitchen, clothes in the dresser, etc. Well, the sippy cup was on the counter for oh, I don't know, 10 minutes? When I got to it, there they were. Not only swarming, but climbing IN AND OUT of the holes in the mouthpiece. *GAG* *GAG* *GAG*
I hate them.
Carter is trying to walk desperately, and Ava helps him by holding his hands and walking backwards. Or running backwards actually. I told her to slow down and not to pull him, and it turns out that she was trying to keep up with him. When he does piece this together, I am in a lot of trouble.
We went to Fish Creek Campground today--they have a day use area, and for the outrageous fee of 6$, we are allowed to use it. It was very nice, and Ava and Carter went in the water, then on the playground and then Ava rode her trike on the bike path while I pushed Carter in the stroller. She did really well, only complaining a little bit about being tired. And I think she really was tired, since she had been going strong for a while. The only downside to the whole experience was the smoking mothers at the playground. And I would not really even feel the need to vent, because I am so used to it at other playgrounds, but this time the cigarette was literally 5 inches from my face, and thus awfully close to Carter's face as well. The woman was looking for her child and wandered over next to me and as I bent down to pick Carter up, she lowered her smoking hand right by my head. HELLO? I got an offhand "sorry" and that was that. I wanted to scream at her. I mean, if she wants to destroy the lungs and brain of her own child, that is awful, and irresponsible, and in my opinion should be illegal, but don't blow smoke in MY kid's face. I know that smokers are addicted, and I know it is hard to quit, and so on, but I will never understand why smokers light up in proximity to their kids. It is not just about modeling poor behavior, but my god, they are causing irreversible damage to the child's little body! And then they wonder why their kids are chronically ill. But even more astonishing to me is when they do it in proximity to someone else's child. I really don't care if someone smokes. Just keep it away from those who cannot get up and walk away from the toxic cloud. I know that I am not writing anything new and noteworthy, but I was so outraged this afternoon.
All that said, today was a good day with Ava. Only a few moments of mild defiance, nothing to get worked up over. The only tears we had today were over the cheddar bunnies that hit the dirt and that I refused to let her pick up and eat. Lately that has been an issue--she cannot leave something that she dropped on the ground. She desperately wants to pick it up and eat it. Sort of an extension of the "that's mine!" response. This happened with a red skittle that I tossed in the bushes one day, and she lost her mind--despite having about 5 more red skittles in her possession. Then she panicked over a piece of popcorn that she dropped at the hospital. She swooped down to retrieve it and popped it in her mouth beforeI could get to her. I told her what I thought of that, which was that she had possibly just eaten someone else's vomit germs. It gave her pause, but not enough regret to stop picking food up off the ground. Hence, today and the dusty cheddar bunnies. However, she did not pitch a huge fit, because when she started, I said "where are your crocs?" and that made her spin around and run off in search of those little sandals that are almost the most important thing in the universe to her at this point.
The whole point of this is that she and I had a good day--we got lots of snuggle time, lots of book time, lots of outside time, and lots of chatting time. I have concluded that the behavior issues that I am seeing have a lot to do with anxiety over growing up. Lots of things are happening now that she is three--little things, like getting to chew gum, and huge things, like school starting. I get the impression that she is pretty conflicted over all of it. The good part to that is that she appears to be less influenced by Carter--not as jealous. I think.
Who knows. It is all such a mystery, and generally all I want to do is get through the day successfully, like today. If I can do that, we are all in a good place.
I hate them.
Carter is trying to walk desperately, and Ava helps him by holding his hands and walking backwards. Or running backwards actually. I told her to slow down and not to pull him, and it turns out that she was trying to keep up with him. When he does piece this together, I am in a lot of trouble.
We went to Fish Creek Campground today--they have a day use area, and for the outrageous fee of 6$, we are allowed to use it. It was very nice, and Ava and Carter went in the water, then on the playground and then Ava rode her trike on the bike path while I pushed Carter in the stroller. She did really well, only complaining a little bit about being tired. And I think she really was tired, since she had been going strong for a while. The only downside to the whole experience was the smoking mothers at the playground. And I would not really even feel the need to vent, because I am so used to it at other playgrounds, but this time the cigarette was literally 5 inches from my face, and thus awfully close to Carter's face as well. The woman was looking for her child and wandered over next to me and as I bent down to pick Carter up, she lowered her smoking hand right by my head. HELLO? I got an offhand "sorry" and that was that. I wanted to scream at her. I mean, if she wants to destroy the lungs and brain of her own child, that is awful, and irresponsible, and in my opinion should be illegal, but don't blow smoke in MY kid's face. I know that smokers are addicted, and I know it is hard to quit, and so on, but I will never understand why smokers light up in proximity to their kids. It is not just about modeling poor behavior, but my god, they are causing irreversible damage to the child's little body! And then they wonder why their kids are chronically ill. But even more astonishing to me is when they do it in proximity to someone else's child. I really don't care if someone smokes. Just keep it away from those who cannot get up and walk away from the toxic cloud. I know that I am not writing anything new and noteworthy, but I was so outraged this afternoon.
All that said, today was a good day with Ava. Only a few moments of mild defiance, nothing to get worked up over. The only tears we had today were over the cheddar bunnies that hit the dirt and that I refused to let her pick up and eat. Lately that has been an issue--she cannot leave something that she dropped on the ground. She desperately wants to pick it up and eat it. Sort of an extension of the "that's mine!" response. This happened with a red skittle that I tossed in the bushes one day, and she lost her mind--despite having about 5 more red skittles in her possession. Then she panicked over a piece of popcorn that she dropped at the hospital. She swooped down to retrieve it and popped it in her mouth beforeI could get to her. I told her what I thought of that, which was that she had possibly just eaten someone else's vomit germs. It gave her pause, but not enough regret to stop picking food up off the ground. Hence, today and the dusty cheddar bunnies. However, she did not pitch a huge fit, because when she started, I said "where are your crocs?" and that made her spin around and run off in search of those little sandals that are almost the most important thing in the universe to her at this point.
The whole point of this is that she and I had a good day--we got lots of snuggle time, lots of book time, lots of outside time, and lots of chatting time. I have concluded that the behavior issues that I am seeing have a lot to do with anxiety over growing up. Lots of things are happening now that she is three--little things, like getting to chew gum, and huge things, like school starting. I get the impression that she is pretty conflicted over all of it. The good part to that is that she appears to be less influenced by Carter--not as jealous. I think.
Who knows. It is all such a mystery, and generally all I want to do is get through the day successfully, like today. If I can do that, we are all in a good place.
carter walked yesterday! well, he took 5 steps! then plunk. then up! then three steps! then plunk. then he remembered that he could crawl. and he abandoned the effort for the time being.
on a less exciting note (and slightly more traumatic for ava) i squished one of her caterpillars this morning. this was extremely upsetting for her--trembling lower lip and all. i felt AWFUL.
on a less exciting note (and slightly more traumatic for ava) i squished one of her caterpillars this morning. this was extremely upsetting for her--trembling lower lip and all. i felt AWFUL.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
it took me forever today to finally figure out how to occupy ava. some days it is easier than others, and some days it is more difficult. today was on the difficult side of the spectrum. i pulled out her favorite--a glueing and cutting project, and she lasted about 5 minutes. everything i tried just did not engage her. and then i looked at the container of utensils that sits next to the stove (spoons, whisks, spatulas etc), and thought, "gee, this has been bugging me for a while. it is due for a good scrubbing, inside and out..." and then it hit me. bucket of soapy water, container of instruments of every variety, sunshine--what could be better? they did not exactly get clean, but she spent a good hour and a half finding all sorts of uses for them. when i hear her chatting to herself, i know we have hit the jackpot.
and then this afternoon, she devised her own occupation. she has a hobby horse--a stick with a horse head on it--and periodically she lavishes all sorts of attention on it--feeding it, watering it, washing it, etc. today she went outside, and i saw her talking to it and bringing it to the grass (the 3 tufts of grass that we have in the sunny part of the yard), bringing it to the bucket of water, to the baby pool, and so on. and then she became very absorbed in another bucket, putting all sorts of items in it, mixing, adding water, chattering away the whole time. when i asked her what she was doing, she proudly stood up and said "i am making soup for my horse!" it just must be universal. every single child must have an inborn compulsion to make "soup" out of whatever ingredients might be at hand. and ava was going to town. she was incredibly busy, incredibly serious, and incredibly determined. she would march around, looking at the ground, see a pinecone and say to herself "oh, this is great, i will put a pinecone in. this will make it really good..." and then she would march on over to her bowl. it was very fun to watch, especially because i was bowled over by her imagination. this was real. she had completely entered another world where she was concocting something exquisite for her horse, and it was exciting, and satisfying and fun. and suddenly i grasped a little memory of what it was like to do that as a child--to want a certain reality so badly that you truly lose yourself and the world around you to imagination. how wonderful.
and then, as i was reflecting on all of this, she came over to me with a spoon laden with sand, wood chips and water, and said "mommy, would you like some of these delicious french juices?"
french juices??????????
and then this afternoon, she devised her own occupation. she has a hobby horse--a stick with a horse head on it--and periodically she lavishes all sorts of attention on it--feeding it, watering it, washing it, etc. today she went outside, and i saw her talking to it and bringing it to the grass (the 3 tufts of grass that we have in the sunny part of the yard), bringing it to the bucket of water, to the baby pool, and so on. and then she became very absorbed in another bucket, putting all sorts of items in it, mixing, adding water, chattering away the whole time. when i asked her what she was doing, she proudly stood up and said "i am making soup for my horse!" it just must be universal. every single child must have an inborn compulsion to make "soup" out of whatever ingredients might be at hand. and ava was going to town. she was incredibly busy, incredibly serious, and incredibly determined. she would march around, looking at the ground, see a pinecone and say to herself "oh, this is great, i will put a pinecone in. this will make it really good..." and then she would march on over to her bowl. it was very fun to watch, especially because i was bowled over by her imagination. this was real. she had completely entered another world where she was concocting something exquisite for her horse, and it was exciting, and satisfying and fun. and suddenly i grasped a little memory of what it was like to do that as a child--to want a certain reality so badly that you truly lose yourself and the world around you to imagination. how wonderful.
and then, as i was reflecting on all of this, she came over to me with a spoon laden with sand, wood chips and water, and said "mommy, would you like some of these delicious french juices?"
french juices??????????
Friday, August 04, 2006
i think i have officially lost my mind, somewhere in the depths of mommyland. tonight, after putting the kids to bed, which entails being with them until they are both asleep--generally nursing cater, i put down my book, looked around at carter, made sure he was comfortable, went over to ava, removed the books strewn around her and tucked her in, then i turned to the doll--THE DOLL!--and straightened HER blanket and pillow. at least i did not bend over and kiss her goodnight.
we are now on our 3rd caterpillar. or paterpillar, if you prefer. it will be a miracle if any monarch butterflies emerge this year.
carter's birthday is approaching, and i have absolutely NO idea what i am going to do. i am birthdayed out. bad sign. bad precedent. must swing into gear and pull out all the stops!
ava is slipping into defiant mode. it is her new way of asserting herself. not that she was ot defiant before, but it was immature defiance--screaming, kicking, tantruming--you know, the terrible twos. this is new. this is the tenacious threes. this is the silent stubborn stares. this is truly awful. "ava, say thank you" stare...stare...chew lip...look at ceiling...stare...stare...stare..."ava, you need to say thank you" stare...stare...stare and on and on. so, we left. you don't say thank you, you forfeit the thing you are supposed to say thank you for. but it is so exhausting to have such a face off. i refuse to get mad though. well, that is not true. i refuse to display anger, even though i am technically mad.
we are now on our 3rd caterpillar. or paterpillar, if you prefer. it will be a miracle if any monarch butterflies emerge this year.
carter's birthday is approaching, and i have absolutely NO idea what i am going to do. i am birthdayed out. bad sign. bad precedent. must swing into gear and pull out all the stops!
ava is slipping into defiant mode. it is her new way of asserting herself. not that she was ot defiant before, but it was immature defiance--screaming, kicking, tantruming--you know, the terrible twos. this is new. this is the tenacious threes. this is the silent stubborn stares. this is truly awful. "ava, say thank you" stare...stare...chew lip...look at ceiling...stare...stare...stare..."ava, you need to say thank you" stare...stare...stare and on and on. so, we left. you don't say thank you, you forfeit the thing you are supposed to say thank you for. but it is so exhausting to have such a face off. i refuse to get mad though. well, that is not true. i refuse to display anger, even though i am technically mad.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
so, the other thing carter has been doing is drawing. i know ava did not scribble at this age, but i think he has been watching her, and knows the drill. it is pretty fun. though he still cannot figure out which he likes better, eating the crayon or drawing with it.
we are still coming down from the excitement of the birthday party--ava wants to do it again and again, and i am still glowing with pride over the compliment my friend jen gave me--she looked at me and said "geez erin, it is like you have a little school here!" nothing could have made me happier.
ava is totally cutting it up on the ski skimmer--she knows how to carve turns now. next year she is going to be jumping the wake--toe side. today was pretty fun. we woke up and immediately headed down to the dock, where ava and i put our feet in and chatted while i drank my coffee. then we decided to swim, and ava found it pretty funny that i went in the water with my jammies on. we came back up to the house, packed up to go skimming/boarding/skiing, left the house in a state of total disarray, and never walked back inside until 1 pm. we went out on the boat, went to town, got lunch, went to donnelley's, and then played outside until a random thunderstorm drove us inside. i put carter down for his nap, confronted the disaster that was our house, made dinner ahead of time, then the sun came out so back outside we went. we got new sand for the sandbox, so the kids are really adoring that. (leave it to me to go buy 300 lbs of sand on the hottest day of the summer for 2 years in a row now...they truly hate me at aubuchon's hardware). back inside for dinner, tubs, playing, etc., and back outside for our evening 'raspberry walk' -- which turned into a monarch butterfly caterpillar walk. i never thought i would find something that interested ava more than raspberries on a walk, but lo and behold, there is a milkweed patch on the side of the road, and it was covered in monarch butterfly caterpillars. this is really cool for several reasons: 1. they are neat caterpillars, very caterpillar-y looking, with yellow and black stripes, and big antennae on both ends. 2. you can literally see them munch munch munching the leaves. 3. there were an absolute TON and they are quite big. 4. they are monarchs, practically the coolest insect as far as i am concerned, and gave us plenty to discuss (cocoons, migration patterns, milkweed, mexico, predator evasion, etc). 5. i was instantly transported back to my ranger rick days and experienced a rush of childhood excitement since as a 10 year old i was obsessed with monarchs and never, ever, in all of my milkweed hunting days, did i ever actually see the caterpillars. until today. ava was quick to note my excitement, and decided that she needed to adopt one, so we have a covered bucket with some milkweed and various sticks and "ava the caterpillar" out on the porch. i do hope we get a cocoon, it will be very very cool to watch.
what a great little experience. there is so much for them to learn. i LOVE teaching them too. i guess there was a reason i tried on nearly every major there was to be had in college. if only i could have my own little school!
we are still coming down from the excitement of the birthday party--ava wants to do it again and again, and i am still glowing with pride over the compliment my friend jen gave me--she looked at me and said "geez erin, it is like you have a little school here!" nothing could have made me happier.
ava is totally cutting it up on the ski skimmer--she knows how to carve turns now. next year she is going to be jumping the wake--toe side. today was pretty fun. we woke up and immediately headed down to the dock, where ava and i put our feet in and chatted while i drank my coffee. then we decided to swim, and ava found it pretty funny that i went in the water with my jammies on. we came back up to the house, packed up to go skimming/boarding/skiing, left the house in a state of total disarray, and never walked back inside until 1 pm. we went out on the boat, went to town, got lunch, went to donnelley's, and then played outside until a random thunderstorm drove us inside. i put carter down for his nap, confronted the disaster that was our house, made dinner ahead of time, then the sun came out so back outside we went. we got new sand for the sandbox, so the kids are really adoring that. (leave it to me to go buy 300 lbs of sand on the hottest day of the summer for 2 years in a row now...they truly hate me at aubuchon's hardware). back inside for dinner, tubs, playing, etc., and back outside for our evening 'raspberry walk' -- which turned into a monarch butterfly caterpillar walk. i never thought i would find something that interested ava more than raspberries on a walk, but lo and behold, there is a milkweed patch on the side of the road, and it was covered in monarch butterfly caterpillars. this is really cool for several reasons: 1. they are neat caterpillars, very caterpillar-y looking, with yellow and black stripes, and big antennae on both ends. 2. you can literally see them munch munch munching the leaves. 3. there were an absolute TON and they are quite big. 4. they are monarchs, practically the coolest insect as far as i am concerned, and gave us plenty to discuss (cocoons, migration patterns, milkweed, mexico, predator evasion, etc). 5. i was instantly transported back to my ranger rick days and experienced a rush of childhood excitement since as a 10 year old i was obsessed with monarchs and never, ever, in all of my milkweed hunting days, did i ever actually see the caterpillars. until today. ava was quick to note my excitement, and decided that she needed to adopt one, so we have a covered bucket with some milkweed and various sticks and "ava the caterpillar" out on the porch. i do hope we get a cocoon, it will be very very cool to watch.
what a great little experience. there is so much for them to learn. i LOVE teaching them too. i guess there was a reason i tried on nearly every major there was to be had in college. if only i could have my own little school!
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