i have a limited amount of time here, but i HAVE to get this one down: ava can write her name. it is so cool! you have to know that the A sometimes resembles an H, and the V sometimes looks like a U, and every once in a while she writes AAV or VAA or VAV, but the effort and the understanding is there. so is the pride. it oozes out of her when she shows me. and she is drawing people. a big circle, two eyes, a nose, a mouth and two sticks for legs. sooooo neat!

carter is completely brown. he and ava have had the same sun exposure, and ava is proof that i have indeed been putting sunscreen on them both, but he is outrageusly tan. we have been calling him the little brown bean.

and we are all struggling with a cold. they are going to love me in the office tomorrow. "sniff...cough cough...i'm here for the..sniff...cough...meeting!"

we went to an imax movie today. this was ava's introduction to a movie (and carter's). and it successfully blew her mind, my mind, and carter's mind. it was a movie about the history of cowboys, and traced the evolution of cowboys from morocco to spain to mexico and north into western us and canada and south into argentina and chile. holy moly. it was so neat. i have only been to one imax movie before, and that was the remake of fantasia, and it was a silly thing to put on imax, since the whole point is the film/photography aspect of it. this really drove home the whole point of the medium.

as soon as the movie started, it was an arial view of horses herding cattle, and ava immediately grabbed her seat, leaned over to me and said "MOM! WHY ARE WE MOVING???" i tried to explain it, bu everytime she got that sensation, she asked me again. for his part, carter simply started yelling and waving at the horses. we got some dirty looks, but hey--she sat down in front of a toddler and a baby in a theater full of empty seats, she can go unbunch her knickers.

after that we went to "kiddie acres" which ava kept calling "kitty bakers" and she was so tired when we got there, it took her a few minutes to register that there were rides, and not only that, but ponies too. we went on the carosel once, the train once, the ferris wheel once, the airplanes once, the cars once, the boats once, and the ponies 5 times. she kept asking me for 3 tickets, then marched up to the keepers of the ponies and handed them her tickets and allowed herself to be lifted up and plunked down in a saddle. around and around and around she went. i am starting to think that this horse stuff might actually be genetic.

then we went home, did an art project, had spaghetti, and went to the pool where carter promptly regurgitated pasta into the recently chlorinated water. i got some dirty looks for that too, but what was i supposed to do? he spits up. still. he started to fuss, so we put him in the swings, but then he started falling asleep in them so we returned home. tomorrow, ava and i get to go to a production of rumplestilskin. this will be her first theater experience, other than live music. it is so neat to be able to start doing these sorts of things with her.

at the zoo, she was so interested in learning about the animals. it was such a different experience. she would stand next to me, while i kneeled down and explained the various animals to her, and she really listened--she is old enough now to get so much more about their biology/ecology/social structure and so on. you could see her listening and processing all of the information i was giving her. i mean, one still has to phrase it in very child friendly terms, but she is very interested in learning. for example, we talked about one monkey that was cracking a plastic ball against a rock, trying to get at the interior--and this led us into a discussion about learning, tools, obtaining food, thumbs, play, monkeys vs carter, carter vs monkeys (he generally came out on top), and plastic toys with suspected surprises inside.

and she is learning a lot about other kids, and getting to know them. we have been to a lot of places that have a bunch of kids her age, and this has been very good for her. she has learned how to stand up for herself, as well as to give up her doll for a moment. this was very hard for her. she is more than happy to let a child play with almost any toy, but her baby is a different story. i told her that she had to share if she brought it to the pool, but when the inevitable time came, she was less than thrilled. she did it, but she watched the little girl feeding her baby like a hawk. the little girl had a bottle that she gave the baby, and i thought for one moment that ava was going to tell her that her baby did not take bottles because she nursed, but she did not go there. she has been known to whip up her shirt and 'nurse' her baby, so it was a real possibility. instead she watched and considered, then fed the baby herself with this little girl's bottle, with a look on her face that was very similar to mine when carter decided to take a bottle--sort of along the line of "ahhhh...this is so much easier in so many ways...."

We went to the children's museum the other day, and I managed to peel Ava away from the pretend store long enough to watch some Hula dancers do a demonstration. They were FABULOUS. I had absolutely no idea that Hula was so neat to watch. They did some of the type of Hula that you might imagine--all swaying music and alo-ha-aaaa--and then they did some traditional dances that were so cool. Anyway, Ava loved it. But then they called the kids up to learn a dance. Ava was reluctant, but with some prodding, I got her to go up there--she focused hard on the teacher, and was clearly trying to learn the steps. The only thing was, she was standing next to the dancers, facing all of the kids with her back to us. I don't know why she decided to do it that way, but she did (perhaps the kids were less intimidating than grown ups). This turned out to be a brilliant move though, because when the music started, she was great, and her little tushie was swaying perfectly to the music, for all to see. Everyone got a good chuckle. And then when it was over, the dancers instructed the kids to go back to their seats, and Ava did not, and looked a little confused--I don't think she could find me--and one of the dancers came up to her and they had a little discussion at which point Ava turned and gave her a big hug. Everyone went "aaawwwwwwww." I was very cute. I was so proud of her.

Carter is officially afraid of birds. We ate outside last night, and they freaked him out, and today, when we went to the zoo, her was definitely not keen on them.

The zoo was neat, as usual, and extra neat because the animals were active. Particularly the male lion that is never awake--today he was pacing, and yawning, and Ava was so excited. And she thinks the concept of a boa constrictor is really worth talking about with whomever will listen.

carter is so totally into music. he hears a beat and his head starts nodding, and his butt starts bouncing. he does this as he crawls on his hands and feet, so the effect is very funny.

and he 'sings' too--not like ava did at his age--she had an ah ah aaaahhh thing that she did--rather he goes aaaaahaaahhhhaaaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa with his mouth wide open and yells at the top of his lungs. but it is definitely singing because he only does it in response to other people singing.

he completely imitates ava. and he claps with both hands facing the floor--so he hits the back of his right hand with the palm of his left.

still climbing, still crawling. not much of an interest in walking yet. why walk when you can get so much dirtier by crawling?

ava is busy trying to figure out past present and future, thereby excommunicating herself from the zen bliss of living in the moment. soon she will be joining the ranks of regular humans, all desperately trying to get back to it.

it isn't like she did not get that there was a past and a future, but i am talking about big stretches of abstract time--like mom being a kid. she is only just starting to comprehend the enormity of that. i existed before she did. she existed before carter did.

the other day, i pointed out twins to her. after explaining it to her, she swore up and down that she saw carter when she was inside mommy. i tried to explain again, but then gave up.

it is funny--she is so mature in so many ways, and it will lead you to have a conversation with her that is very sophisticated, and then out of the blue, in the middle of a deep discussion on life and the meaning of it, she will stop dead in her tracks and holler "look mommy! a FIRE HYDRANT!!!!"

translation: "i am still 2"

this morning, ava requested sushi at 8:30 am. i had some vegetable rolls that i had bought for the night before, but we hadn't eaten them, so i indulged her breakfast wish. i put everything out for her, and then she said "mommy, can i have chopsticks?" i said "sure, just a second."

"do you need help, ava?"

"nope."

and with that she picked up a piece of sushi, dipped it in the soy sauce, and put the whole thing in her mouth, all with the chopsticks. i was staring at her, not sure if i should introduce her to the phrase "RIGHT ON, AVA!!!!"

i did. i was so very impressed with my little sophisticate.

so, we are visiting PA again, and we hit the country club for the second day in a row. they have a fabulous pool there, and i can almost claim anonyminity there. i did run into someone from high school, but i was so oblivious as a teenager, this person's presence made absolutely no etching on my grey matter. i fessed up too--i said "i have absolutely no recollection of you." so polite of me.

anyway, ava and carter had an utterly wonderful time. they both were in the pool for hours, both days. ava managed to swim with her face in the water for a good distance, and was plunging in like an expert. she loved the slide today--it is essentially a water slide, and dumps you at the bottom with a flourish, and she could not get enough of it. i was so happy to be somewhere that had no dirt for carter to eat, and where i could completely exhaust him. it was 95 here, so my gratitude was profound. michaela came too, and today carlos came with her, so that was a treat for the kids as well as for me. they both fall under the heading of "A LOT OF FUN"

though there was the "mom deposits kids in the water, turns around and parks her butt on a lounge chair for the rest of the day while their child terrorizes everyone in the pool leaving it up to the parents of small children who cannot leave them alone to try to discipline them without appearing to discipline them parenting" going on. this is similar to "mom deposits kid on playground then goes to the picnic bench to smoke a cigarette while kid terroizes everyone on the playscape parenting" that i am already familiar with, but this was a bit tougher. one child, who was nice, but intense and in carter's face, nearly drowned as he followed us into the deep end. i turned around, and there he was, slowly sinking while frantically flaining his arms. i said "are you ok???" and he shook his head no and so i fished him out and to the side while asking him where his mom was. "over there." he pointed to a bank of mothers in halter top bikinis and big sunglasses basking in the sun. i pointed him out to the lifeguard, who grunted. the poor kid said to me "i can swim UNDER water though" i wanted to say, "yes, that is called drowning."

but all in all, a grand success. ava loved the food, and i have to admit to loving the ability to just sign for it. ahhh.....

thanks mom and dad--we all appreciate the experience!

however, never let your child put sunscreen on your back. you will get burned.

one other thing to note: carter climbs on everything. more on that later.

a piece of advice for anyone who gets a kiddie pool and fills it with water:

if you have a cell phone in your pocket, don't get in.

i know i have some smarts, i can do complicated mental tasks relatively well, but sometimes i am capable of monumental stupidity. ava had soaked me with the hose, and so i just decided to throw caution to the wind and hop in with her, so carter had something to lean on since he did not want to put his nether regions in the cold water. i said to ava "gee, there must be a rock under the pool!" oh, nooooooo. that is no rock. that is a completely submerged piece of electronic equipment.

when the led started glowing orange, i took the battery out--it just gave the impression that it was about to explode. i guess tomorrow we go to the verizon store.

we made macaroons today--all the way to the point where you add the egg whites. no eggs. so, we switched and made coconut-chocolate-peanut butter-banana-nut thingamajigs. pretty tasty. and ugly.

if it has a lid, it is terrific. carter will spend the longest time trying to put the top on something. whether it is a pot, a jar, a tin, you name it. he is determined to get it together.

he likes it even more than putting things in containers.

ava and i are watching season one of the muppet show. the tv has left the house, and now we only watch the dvd player. i cannot tell you how great it is that the giant screen is no longer here. i still appreciate the screen opportunity of the dvd player, but it is sooooo nice to just be able to say "no, we cannot watch tv" "but WHY?" " turn around, and look. do you see a tv?" "no"

I was accepted into the Master's program in epidemiology at the London School of Hygeine and Tropical Medicine, University of London. The "statistics" part of the title here has become valid!

It is a distance degree, though I have the option of going to London for exams (or NYC).

Now, all I have to do is figure out how to take this and apply it. Would be nice to eliminate a bit of the injustice rampant in the world today with a bit of statistical prowess. Reading this book about Thimerosal is a galvanizing endeavor.

the other day, ava stood in the kitchen and said "mommy, can you get me the ready?"

i said, 'pardon me?'

she said "can you get me the ready?"

i said "ready for what?"

"no! the ready!"

"ava, ready for what?"

"NO Mommy! THE RED E!!!"

and with that she pointed to the magnetic 'e' on the fridge that was, in fact, red.

carter broke out in hives tonight. only around his mouth, but they were unmistakable. problem is, his dinner consisted of about 14 different items. however, my suspicion is that it was the swiss cheese.

we went through the toys, and broke out some that were put away earlier because carter was too small, and both kids were very occupied all day. carter thought the remote control cars were fantastic, so that was fun. (and also provides evidence that i do actually have plastic-moving-whirring-shiny-noisy toys and am not the wooden toy snob that my birthday present buying habits have suggested).

it rained all day again today.

i am reading 'evidence of harm,' a book about the thimerosal (mercury based preservative) that was in vaccines until a few years ago. it is incredibly engaging and very disturbing. my head is spinning, since the book (which is undoubtedly anti-thimerosal) presents the science on both sides, as well as a detailed history of the legal issues surrounding it. it is not a cheery book. as someone that has worked in drug safety, i find it very frustrating that the safety of this product flew so low under the radar of everyone that is charged with evaluating these products. of course, the book suggests that it was deliberately ignored, but that is another story. irrespective of whether or not it causes autism, the amount of mercury kids received was outrageous. that is not in question. and kids outside of this country are still getting loaded up with it.

oh. i see i have my soapbox out. i will stop now, especially since i am only halfway through.

ava refers to my cell phone as my 'celophone.'

Carter is changing SO FAST. All of a sudden, he seems to have put together the processes of everyday life. That sounds abstract, and it is hard to explain, but as I noted before, it has a lot to do with communication. But it is more than that. For example, the other day he woke up, got out of bed, opened his door and crawled out into the living room where Ava and I were hanging out like it was the most straightforward thing in the world. I was quite surprised. And then he did it again. Essentially, it is clear that he understands the routines of the house, as well as where everything is, even if he cannot see it. And then of course there is all of the interaction. Giving us stuff, feeding us (though he is so into his food, he is starting to be reluctant to give it to someone else...).

We went out to lunch yesterday. I sat there and looked at Peter and said "we are eating in a restaurant." It was astonishing to me. And it was a nice restaurant. Carter and Ava ate their pizza, and I relaxed with my iced tea, and Peter had his sandwich. INCREDIBLE. There is hope that we will actually rejoin the world of normal activities. No, I do not expect to have a life like that pre-children, I am not that naive, but going to a restaurant is a reasonable expectation I think. Perhaps a glass of wine on the dock by myself with a book while the kids sleep? I am really looking forward to that...

Ava is a little girl now. So amazing. And she has developed little kid humor. Yesterday she announced from her car seat that she had poopy on her shoe. I reacted along the lines of WHAT??? and then she got hysterical. And then she said "no! it is on my SHOULDER!" More laughing. If I said "EEEEEWWWWW" she got even more hysterical. She went through a list of places where poopy would be disgusting, and got hysterical at each one.

She is also getting good at playing with Carter. He is still her science experiment, but not to the extent as before. Now they 'wrestle' and play with toys together, and the all time favorite: the screaming game. This involves Ava screaming at the top of her lungs, and then Carter responds in kind. AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! They get hysterical.

Peter commented about how cute they were, and wouldn't it be fun to have more. I nearly gagged on my dinner, which got him hysterical--the comment clearly was intended to get a reaction instead of being serious. But just in case my opinion was not clear, I paused to gather my thoughts, and looked at him and said "There are sooooo many ways to say no to that idea."

Don't worry everyone, he was just kidding.

Today it is pouring, so I think we will go to the library. Ava wants to go to Donnelley's -- the local summertime soft serve ice cream stand, so we probably will do that, even though the weather is not conducive. We did that last Monday, when it was 84 degrees, and Ava had pistachio for the first time. The deal there is that there is one flavor per day which is swirled with vanilla. At first she asked me to eat the green part, but I encouraged her to try it. She ate her whole cone. With a little help from Mom in the clean-up department. Carter loved it as well.

Our other activity is toy organization. We have some clearing out to do. There is one puzzle that we have that makes animal noises when the pieces are put in place--ie the horse piece makes a horse sound when put in the horse spot. This has been something that Carter and Ava have enjoyed, but it has recently gone insane, and makes its sounds from the depths of the toybox without any input from a human. This is very disconcerting, and so I think we will retire that one. And mom has to find all o f the Candyland pieces floating around the house. Ava played that for real the other day, and loved it. She was content to play all by herself too. She looked up at me while we were playing and said "TWO RED SQUARES" and then marched her little piece along the path to the next two red squares, stopped, put her card in the discard pile and said "I am REALLY good at this Mommy!" So funny.

carter is learning to talk. it is so cute. he shakes his head 'no' and says naaaaa, and then he sort of writhes his upper body to nod yes and makes an indiscriminate eeeehhhhh sound when he does that. he waves, does 'so big,' claps, and says "NEH" to everything. it is his catch-all word. and i think nini means nurse. not sure though. of course we have DA! and mama and va va for the three of us, but that has been a longstanding accomplishment. oh, and he is fabulous at BLAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. he sticks his tongue out and wipes it with his hand as he says it.

today the front brakes died on the tahoe. it was a pretty nervewraking moment, but we emerged from it unscathed. mostly because the rear brakes were functioning. ava's response when we came to a stop was "mommy, why did you say sh*t sh*t sh*t?" i sort of ignored that question.

so, we are stuck at home. and it is raining. i saved all of my errands for today, since i knew it was going to rain, and here we are. blah. though we expect two interesting things: a load of wood, and the flat bed truck. that should capture ava's interest for a little bit.