i know i have not written very much. this is due to a variety of factors. first, we are ridiculously busy--we had the bazaar, getting ready for christmas, ava's skating competition (2 gold medals, 1 silver, and 1 bronze), and a crazy circuit of colds through the family members. but also (and this is where the blog gets a little introspective in a slightly cloying way), i just have not felt like it. i mean, i love to write, blah blah blah, and i love to maintain a record of the kid's childhoods, but there is something that i want to change about it. the blog that is. and well, also my life. problem is, i am not entirely sure exactly what i am planning on changing. something. so, my unarticulated plan is to bring the mommy statistics to a close at the end of 09, and start something new for 2010. i am not exactly ready to say why or what it will be, and perhaps that is not the point. but i do know that i am really ready for a change.

on that note, i had better finish 09 with panache, eh?

hmmm...panache. not feeling panache-y though. feeling pretty under the weather, frankly. i am proud of myself for finishing the christmas decorations, and not letting them languish. turns out we had planty of decorations from last year's art bonanza, and so this year's glitter pine cones, felt trees, and finger knitted garland (VERY COOL), made the tree look superb. ava hung red bows along the tops of the curtains and taped up glittery snowflakes on the wall. then --drum roll please -- i made a wreath! woo hoo! we had all sorts of extra branches from trimming the tree to fit the window box, and i had a wreath frame and wire, and ta da! a wreath. i have been planning on that for years. given that they are crazy expensive -- nearly as much as the tree -- i just could not get over the nagging urge to do it myself. and it really did not take long at all. cool part was, all 3 kids enjoyed having a pile of greens on the floor--each child played with them in different ways and the littlest one never bothered to try and eat them. same thing with other natural materials like yarn and fabric and paper. but put a plastic toy in front of her? boom. straight in the mouth. it is pretty interesting.

i have done next to no baking for the holidays though. it is early i suppose. not sure what we will do for that, or for christmas eve dinner. honestly, i would love to go out. i know that is blasphemous, but i don't really want to cook. i want to relax. this is the newest issue for me. i used to love to cook. i had time to take my time, and the results were pretty decent. now, i don't really like to cook, primarily because i am usually fretting over the mess and wondering if the baby will be quiet so i can clean it up, and simultaneously fielding requests from all 3 kids, completely distracting me and all i can think is "fast fast fast--get this done and in the oven or on the table." not surprisingly, the end product is never that great. and even when i think it is pretty good, the kids never like it. the one exception would be the baking that i do with carter. usually that is pretty good. but really, how hard is it to make decent oatmeal or chocolate chip cookies?

i am plowing my way through many novels that have been on my shelf for YEARS. i cannot believe that i have not read them. so excellent. 'a history of the world in 10 1/2 chapters' by julian barnes, 'the translator' by someone else, 'anil's ghost' by michael ondajjte (or however you spell his name--the guy who wrote the english patient), and something else. also plowed through 'nurture shock' by po bronsen -- thank you grandma. everyone must read it. i want all of the teachers to read it. but my goal is to get through my shelf of of unread books. make space for more!

anna is refining her skills. she spent a full 15 minutes opening and closing her hand to herself--watching her fist open and close, as if she were waving. she also is shaking her head "no." this is good.

carter is thrilled--the mountain is open. he and dad are skiing in the rain today. and ava is not happy with school. as usual. winter stikes and she doesn't want to go. 4th year in a row. sigh. but she is learning like a sponge. well i guess that is a stupid metaphor, since sponges don't learn. she is soaking up knowledge and skills like a sponge. that's a bit better.

the christmas bazaar is over. thank god. we can think now. so busy. ava has a competition this weekend, but carter is sick and i am worried that she is going to get it just in time for that.

anna is petrified of the kitchen aid mixer. did i mention that? just in time for baking season.

in fact, she is easily frightened these days. getting more aware.

carter and i made lemon poppyseed cookies today. mmmmm. accidentally overdid it on the butter by 1/2 cup. oops. not exactly a problem.

ava lost her first tooth today! i just happened to be there at the school when it happened. VERY cool. she is so pleased, having waited and waited and waited while her classmates managed to lose what seemed like hundreds of teeth.

now, all the tooth fairy needs to do is figure out how to break a $20 at 8 pm with 3 kids asleep in their beds. otherwise she is going to set a very expensive precedent.