today ava asked me to get a bouquet of flowers at the grocery store. we got some purple-ish daisy-ish type flowers, and ava nominated herself as caretaker. we got home and she helped me put them in a vase, then asked for one flower for herself. and a glass please too. so, she wandered around the house, with the flower in a glass, very happy with it, then went to the porch where she got 2 kid-size chairs and placed them so that they were facing each other. then she put the flower on one, sat down in the other, and read her flower a story. i witnessed this through the closed sliding glass door, so there was no sound, only the image. it was both the funniest and the cutest thing i have seen in a while.

today we had a playdate at simon's house--we have been looking forward to this for almost a whole year, since ava knows where he lives and we have to drive by every day on our way anywhere. she perpetually asks "when are we going to simon's house?" and i perpetually say "when they invite us, honey." but simon's mom just had child #2, and i have not dared to bug her. so, it was great when they showed up at playgroup here on monday morning. (they were the ONLY ones to show up at playgroup on monday morning, because even though playgroup has been scheduled among the playgroup mothers since september: "april 23: erin's house," another mother scheduled her own competing playgroup when no one heard from me by sunday afternoon. i sent the "come one! come all!" email on sunday evening, but it was too late. playgroup was usurped. i was so ticked. anyway, since this mom only invited SOME of the playgroup moms, and i had invited ALL of the playgroup moms, this left me stuck at home, having to clean the house and cancel carter's tumbling and prepare a snack, just in case some of the mothers invited to my house but not to the other playgroup happened to stop by. which is what happened, and it all turned out ok because it was simon, and we had wanted to see them anyway, and a private playdate with them was probably better). so, we were invited to their house. when we got there, i said to ava "wow, their house is really nice" and she said "and it's BIG too!" then she paused and said "mommy, is this house the size of the house we have to have for me to get a kitty?" (the standard response to the 'can i have a kitty?' question is that our house is too small--carter also asks, but he just says "meoooowww" and points to his palm--ie "i would like a cat right here, in my hands, please.") i laughed and said yes.

we had a lot of fun at simon's house, particularly because a second girl arrived and the three preschoolers managed to actually play together. however, it took a while for them to warm up to each other. ava brought all of her horses in shoeboxes, and when lisse said "ava, let's play with your horses," ava was completely flummoxed. she went through a little nervous monologue about them, coupled with intensely awkward hand motions, basically relegating them to life forever in their shoeboxes. she gets SO NERVOUS and when she has to talk, she speaks incredibly fast and laughs loudly, almost like the silliest parody of a shy person that has ever been done in hollywood. i intervened, and started to translate for lisse and then suggested some play-possibilities, and slowly, ever so slowly, ava opened up to the possibility. when i suggested that the box top be a paddock for the horses, ava immediately told me it was unacceptable, because they all had to stay together, and that it was too small, etc etc. so i made a fence out of some blocks, and she started to get into it, and finally simon, bless his soul, said "OH! I have a fence!" and then he went rummaging in his closet and appeared with a barn and a fence. and finally we reached the energy of activation and play began. all this time, carter was playing with a little train that would only move if you said "go" into a little microphone. HA! i looked at him and said "you HAVE to talk to make this go." he hemmed and hawed, and then finally put the thing right on his mouth and said "UH" --and it went. talk about self satisfied. he never said "go" per se, but he got pretty close. fortunately it was not as sensitive as the voice activated phone line at United Airlines.

later today, he confirmed that the song he sings while sitting in the sandbox is actually "ava ava ava ava ava ava ava ava ava va va va va ava ava ava va va va va..."he did this by pointing to her towel and saying clear as day "ah-va!" then i exploded with praise, and so he pointed to her and said it again. i have been suspicious, but was not entirely sure.

he is even prouder of the fact that he can jump from a standstill now. two feet up, pop! right into the air. it is so cute. he does it over and over and over.

ava made the mistake of crawling under a clear plastic bin (to be with her new pet ladybugs, in their new fancy home) and he saw her, got an absolute belly laugh out of it and immediately crawled on top of it. pretty much like the cat in Benjamin Bunny. For those that have forgotten their Beatrix Potter, essentially, Ava was now trapped. But she could see her tormenter, and he could see her. He was triumphant. She was desperate. I was hysterical. I knew she had air, as the bottom was not sealed, and I intervened before she got claustrophobic, a significant risk for her, but I did allow her to come to a full realization of her error before doing so.

i am so tired. so so so tired. i cannot think. i know that ava and carter said some pretty funny things today, (or at least did some pretty funny things in carter's case), and i cannot remember anything. i will, i am sure. after i sleep for a year.

today we traipsed all over the north country, filling in the down time between school, doctor and ice skating by stopping at every playground that we could find. which was clearly a-ok with the kids. and i was pretty darn joyful that the weather finally allowed it. both kids love "underdog" -- which involves me pushing them in a swing from behind, then running under them (with my hands pushing the seat) to appear in front as they zoom down away from me. it is pretty fun, and a surprising amount of work.

and, finally, the ice is out. open water on all of the lakes. so nice. by june it should be about 50 degrees--perfect for a summer dip!

things to keep in mind:

carter may not talk to any extent, but he has a word for credit card (det-do), zamboni (zalmmmmm), and small cute fuzzy animal that i want to hold (meeoowww).

ava spent the day training the dog, who is 14, and well acquainted with heel, sit, stay, come, but played along nicely. until ava gave her a 'bath' with water from the sandbox--water that is approximately 32 degrees.

and she decided she now likes school. her regular teacher is back (post baby), and lo and behold, ava is ok with it all. don't go messing around with ava's reality. ever. if you say it is one way, then it had better be that way. baby or no baby, the teacher is the teacher. period. if the teacher is not there, then there is no point to school.

i was about to correct my spelling error in the post below, but i find it sort of funny. it is kind of like when i thought binghamton was binghampton. if only.

the other day we were driving home through lake clear (a small town) and we passed a house where a family of 5 kids lives. i said "ava, do you see that large white and blue house right there?" "yes" "well, they have FIVE kids, can you believe that?"

ava was silent for a moment...then, as i expected some sort of reflection on sibling rivalry, she said "wow. they must have A LOT of toothbrushes."

true. i never even thought of that.

we have converted our screened in (currently glassed in) porch into a playroom, defying the existence of 8 inches of snow outside. i simply open the door to the unheated space, dress the kids warmly, and wait for the heater to wheeze itself into artificially inducing spring out there.

it is april 16, and there is still ice on the lakes. this is a record for me--in 5 years here i have never seen ice on the lakes this late. it is definitely unsafe ice, but ice nonetheless. and the winter was so mild that i thought it would be a record year for going out early. by april i hate the ice on the lake. it is so still. winter stillness is nice in january, but by this point i am usually dying for the movement of the water to just give the appearance of life. when it is open water, the light hits it and the reflection is full of movement--it can make an otherwise grey day actually pretty.

and then, of course, i am in a state of deep concern for all of my tulips and daffodils and crocuses. god knows what they are doing under all of the ice and snow. hopefully having a little flower-igloo party.

carter now has moved on to the word "hussssshhhhhhh" -- which refers to the book "goodnight moon" -- there is a little old lady whispering hush -- and that is his favorite thing to say. someday he is going to wake up reciting the gettysburgh address, but right now it is pretty funny to watch him convey complex thoughts through the use of 5 or so words (he knows more than five, he just chooses not to use them), a million hand gestures, and a lot of sound effects. oh, and he LOVES "what does the cat say?" he does a PERFECT "meeeeoooowww"

it is very interesting to watch the whole language acquisition thing.

Cinderella died. She was here for less than a week, and she is dead. We did everything exactly as they told us. And she up and died. I discovered this the other night, after Ava went to bed. Actually, Ava was awake, and trying to fall asleep as I worked at the desk next to her, and Cinderella was on my left, about 10 inches away. Something made me look at her, and I noticed she was at the bottom, very still. I looked closer, and she was not ‘breathing.’ I just stared at her in disbelief. And panic.

The next morning, Ava managed the news pretty well. She did not fully understand it, but we buried her, and upon doing so, Ava stood for a while over the ‘grave’ and then announced “Now she does not have a name anymore!”

Other questions included whether or not she would change color, if we should give her breakfast, and why she did not stay very long.

Yesterday, Ava, Carter and I went on some errands. I did not divulge my agenda, and somehow I managed to get my Easter supplies for them without letting them see any of it. This was accomplished by pushing the shopping cart with one hand, with Carter in front and Ava in the big part, and a shopping basket held behind me, sort of hidden from view. I tossed a few interesting things in the cart, diverted Ava’s attention to things in front of us, and somehow managed to get out of the store with everything I needed, save for actual Easter baskets. So, last night, there I was, wondering how I was going to fabricate a basket. And then I had an Aha! Moment: I took 2 identical planters/pots that were about 6 inches in diameter, strung ribbon through the holes in the bottom, covered them in tissue paper, pink for Ava, blue for Carter (driving home those gender roles!), and I had my baskets. A little yellow Easter grass, some candy and we were in business. I then filled the plastic eggs with jelly beans, “hid” them in the living room, and I was in bed by 10.
But not asleep. At 10 PM, Ava woke up in a delirium that was terrifying. It lasted about 2 hours, and was characterized by sudden crying and wailing and furious kicking. She was livid. And the target appeared to be the blankets, but I got the impression that it might have been her stomach, or some other pain somewhere in her torso or legs. I would try to comfort her and she would push rigidly against me, or arch away from me, and when I tried to ask her what was wrong she would open her eyes, glare at me and say “NOTHING!” She never once seemed to relax or recognize me. I was truly terrified. I thought we were going to end up in the ER. I finally concluded that it was almost a psychotic reaction to the Benadryl I had given her before bed (she was drippy and coughing and sprouting a cold). That is the only thing I can think of. That or the pistachios she ate for dinner. Amazingly, Carter only woke up once.
And at 6 AM, she was UP! Happy Easter!
She plowed through the Easter eggs and her basket, consuming god knows how many jelly beans (with each one, I would cringe wondering if she was going to wig out again, but it did not happen), and Carter stood in awe as he tried to process the fact that we were offering him unlimited sugar for breakfast. We got ready for our day and went to Whiteface for their annual Easter egg hunt. It was odd, because there was snow and the skiing was apparently really great, so we simultaneously got ready for snow sports, but that is life here in the North Country. The egg hunt was great—they had the kids separated by age—7-12 at 11 AM, and under-6 at noon, and they scattered the little kid’s eggs all over the bunny slope (how appropriate). Carter and Ava caught on pretty much right off the bat, and in Ava’s words we got “hundreds.” And they were filled with premium candy—no cheapy stuff that you automatically throw away. We have a stash that should last us a year. The snow also made it extra fun, because the eggs were buried in the snow, some partially and some completely. Ava had a great time digging around for treasure, and could barely be convinced to stop. Then Ava and I rode the gondola up to the top of the mountain while Carter and Peter skied. We were accompanied by 3 Russians, and as they spoke Ava stared intently at them. I was trying not to laugh, but it was so funny watching her try her best to decipher what in the world these people were saying—you could see it in her face—such concern that nothing was sounding familiar to her—no foothold for her to even begin the process of comprehension. Finally they addressed her in English. Later I explained. She knows about different languages in the abstract, but this was the first time it actually was clear to her what it meant.
We left the mountain and took Ava ice-skating, and then piled in the car for the drive home and a frantic effort to get dinner on the table (bratwurst) and the kids washed and jammies on all before 7. I chose not to give Ava Benadryl.

Cinderella has arrived in our household. She all gold, and lives in a glass house. She also has a lovely plant and clear glass marbles at the bottom, and she seems to enjoy her new home. Ava is about as thrilled as she could possibly be to have been given the responsibility of caring for her new pet.
We went to Plattsburgh (1.5 hrs away) today, to get some gardening supplies and some food items not available in the sticks, and I asked Ava if she thought she was old enough to take care of a fish. YES! CAN WE GO TO THE PET STORE??? NOW?? I explained that it had to be the last thing that we did n our trip, but yes, we could go get a goldfish. After tossing out some weak counter-arguments, she realized that if she was going to get a fish, she had better endure the prologue. So, off we went. The car ride was fine, and Carter fell asleep after 1 hour and 20 minutes, so I had to circle for a bit to ensure he really got a nap, and then we arrived at Lowe’s. Oh, Lowe’s. Ava may have been excited for the pet store, but Lowe’s has forklifts. A lot of them. Carter was in a state of bliss. And honestly, it was such a nice store to be in—no crazy bright plastic–electronic things screaming at you from all directions (life in the middle of nowhere does make one a bit like a deer in headlights upon emerging into the modern world), and it was filled with the promise of projects—big ones and little ones. And these days, my life revolves around projects. Any project as long as it educates, entertains and occupies. Then, off to Price Chopper, where both children had a “singing” contest, which was more like a screaming and stomping contest, and we got out of there as fast as we could, and oooooooohhhhhhh……the pet store. It started off spectacularly, because they had those “customer in training” mini-carts, putting even ore responsibility upon her shoulders, and then both kids were hysterical over the ferrets and assorted rodents that are always front and center. After a potty break, we wandered on over to the reptiles, and were laughing uncontrollably at some very animated lizards when Ava turned to me and said “mommy, do they have fish here?” It was almost as if she had refused to allow herself to believe It until she really had it in her hands. “Yes, let’s go see them” I said. So, we looked at all of them, the bettas, the regular goldfish, the fancy goldfish, the big goldfish, the little goldfish, and then I asked her which one she liked, and she pointed to the regular, small, gold, goldfish. Nothing fancy, just a wonderful, humble little goldfish. And so the sales associate scooped one up for her. And it was gold and white. Not gold. “Do you like this one, honey?” the sales associate asked. Ava gave an almost imperceptible nod. I did not believe her. I said “Ava, do you want this one, or one that is all gold?” And Ava said “this one.” I still did not believe her. I think she was afraid that if she said no, she would not get one at all. And so I asked the woman to get a second fish, all gold, and we asked Ava to pick. Gold. All gold. Thank god. OK. Now, marbles, food and a plant. Then I said “now, Ava. There is one more thing that you have to do. You have to name your fish. So, spend some time, and when you know, let me know.” She spent some time, and then said “I know! Cinderella!” And I said, Ava, that is a PERFECT name. Ava did not relinquish her little plastic double bagged treasure for the entire 90 minute care ride home. We set it up, Ava fed it, Carter longed for it, and now Cinderella has come to live in our castle.
Carter has upped the ante with his physicality—he now thinks it is pretty cool not only to get on the table—any table, but to stand on the seat of his scooter—without holding on to anything. And we have finally realized that it is not that he can’t talk. He just does not want to. I asked him to say something, a word that he has said in the past, and he just looked at me and scrunched his cheek to his shoulder, which is his way of saying “nah.”
But he has also managed to acquire some distinctly 2-year-old traits, most notably screaming in all-consuming anger when something does not go his way—it is the real deal, tears, and wailing and flinging himself upon me in desperation. It is very disconcerting because he is usually so easygoing. The days are very interesting around here.