yeah. its strep. woohoo. actually, to be more specific, it is scarlet fever.

this is the 2nd time she has had scarlet fever.

carter is fine. he said so to the dr. "i'm fine."

the worst of it was that we got to the pharmacy 10 minutes after they closed. the staff at the drug store were not exactly compassionate or helpful. in fact, they were rather callous.

so we drove 20 min back to the urgent care center and begged for a sample of the zithromax adult pill (they did not have the children's suspension). she was reluctant to give it to us, simply because she could not imagine that ava would swallow it, but ava gulped it right down.

hopefully tomorrow she will be on the mend.

ava is sick. fever of 102. we went to a birthday party today, where i managed to lose a couple of battles in my ongoing war to prevent ava from understanding who hannah montana is. (i don't know why i am so anti-hannah, i have never even watched the show, but it is just some sort of anxiety about marketing and pop culture and well, frankly, she loooks a bit old for ava--a little too much on the teen side of things, and i don't think ava needs to be leaping into teen-dom at 5). anyway, we returned home where she collapsed into the green chair and i put my hand on her to sort of say, "i know, that was really exhausting..." (it was). and when i did, i thought, gee, she feels hot. then she said "mom, my throat hurts..." and so i got the thermometer. 100.6. and then, 1/2 hour later, 101.9 -- where it has remained despite various interventions. between my recent illness, the fact that a stomach bug is going around, and that a little girl in her class had strep throat, i am not exactly surprised. it just stinks.

moreover, the school issue remains a big problem. i finally conferred with the principal, and we are trying to find a solution, though it is sort of a slow process. i am advocating a half-time schedule.

i am feeling very defeated. though we may have found a piano teacher for ava. exactly when we are going to fit that in, i have no idea.

carter has conquered scissors and now appears on his way towards wanting to write.

he keeps asking me how to make the primary colors. to him, if you can make green from yellow and blue, you should be able to make yellow from some set of pre-existing colors. he looked at me oddly when i suggested he take some blue out of the green. i thought he might get the joke, but he was very dissatisfied with that answer.

ava adores her microscope.

yesterday she asked me how to make milk. we reviewed the concept of mammals again, and then that prompted her to ask how many animals there were that were mammals. answer: 4500-5000, though it is a number in flux.

it did dawn on her how arbitrary our choice of cow is for our milk, and then she had great fun considering alternatives. chipmunk milk was the funniest.

briefly:

i am seriously ill, pulled a muscle in my belly from coughing and seem to be expelling snot from my right eye. it feels great. the only mitigating factor is that it is sort of interesting in a "huh, would you look at that" kind of a way.

i have taken the day off, only cooking and claning up the dishes. i am leaving the kid's messes and toys right where they are, partly to document the phenomenon that the less tv they watch, the messier the house. this, i think is the real reason parents let kids watch tv (at least it is mine at 5 pm when i have just finished picking up)--to prevent the production of yet another mess.

the ultrasound went well, baby is measuring between 32 and 33 weeks, right where she should be. her estimated weight is almost 5 lb, so she should land right where her siblings were. i am just small because i am running after 2 kids, coughing my belly into some serious muscle tone, and dealing with persistent nausea -- only able to really enjoy fruit, carrots, cucumber, cheerios, roast beef (?), crackers and water.

ava's school came up with a solution--they are going to have a girl from the after school program come in and stay in the classroom with the teacher. this is superb--ava knows her, and she is a super kind, super kid-focused, fun, cheerful and loving person. ava likes her a lot. carter absolutely adores her (she has substituted in his classroom sometimes). when i told ava, the cloud over her lifted measurably.

i am very sick. managed to get some horrendous cold, and am coughing like crazy/sore throat/etc--if this baby doesn't pop out during one of my coughing fits, it will be amazing.

tomorrow we go for an ultrasound--i am officially measuring small, so they just want to check that all is ok. the baby is rather active and rolling around, so i am not that worried. i seem to remember everyone being concerned that i did not have enough fluid with ava and it turned out that i did, it was all just hidden somewhere.

ava continues to have terrible issues with school and the new teacher, primarily because there are some kids taking out their stress in not so great ways--ie tantrums, yelling, hitting, kicking, and she just cannot stand it. apparently today one of the kids flew into a huge rage and had to be carried out of the classroom, practically restrained, to the principal's office. this happened right before lunch, and the teacher later told me that ava promptly started sobbing, a HUGE deal, since she will NOT cry in front of her peers. (even the other day, when she was skating and fell very hard on her bottom, she flew off the ice, and when i saw her i could see thashe was close to tears and when i asked her what was wrong -- i did not witness the fall -- she snapped "NOTHING." and i said "really? you like you are going to cry." and she said "MOM! i'm FINE. i just need some pretzels" -- since she doesn't even like pretzels, it was pretty obvious that there was some serious pride issues going on. then her instructor told me that she fell, and might have hit her head. i asked ava about it very quietly and she whispered "it was my bottom." 2 minutes later, she was back out on the ice). so the fact that she had cried in class was upsetting, because it meant that it was a Big Deal. approximately 5 minutes later i arrived to pick up carter and she was in the hall, on her way to lunch. she saw me, flew over to me, attached herself to me, sobbing, and begged me to let her go home. after 15 minutes of this, i said "fine--let's go" -- i acknowledged to the principal and teachers that this might technically be a choice that is frowned upon, but it was just to the point of being ridiculous--and frankly, at this point, i feel like it is simply unfair that she would have to stay and be subjected to those sorts of behavioral outbursts. if anything, i am starting to feel the less than charitable inclination that said child should be removed until he can behave. i realize that is somewhat inflammatory, and probably not in that child's best interest, and the pre-child version of me would have been horrified at such a suggestion, but on the other hand, why should ava suffer? even the teacher said "i have absolutely no idea how to handle this situation." this is a child that has a history of instability, though his current family is loving and committed, etc -- but the upheaval of a new teacher is sending him into orbit. and it is very stressful for the teacher--understandably--which further stresses ava out. and it is not just one kid--though this one is a doozy--many of them are struggling, and i am sure that is making the teacher less than enthusiastic about being there. so, i took ava home. i just felt like she needed to know that when worst comes to worst, she is safe and taken care of and listened to. that and i had to get out of there before i started crying too.

afer a few relaxing hours at home, ava, carter and i all went to the dentist. i told them i had a cough, but they did not mind. everyone passed with flying colors, though carter had knocked out the filling on his front tooth -- he had a patch where the enamel did not form, and we were warned that the little spot of filling might come out. given the amount of skiing, skating and just plain running and jumping that he does, that it did finally fall out is not surprising. no cavities, it just needs to be replaced. other than that, everything was fine. when the hygienist asked him what he got for christmas, his eyes lit up and he said "i got a book about SPACE!" -- and so she asked him about it and he said "there is a picture of the space shuttle, but it is already flying -- there is no launch pad in the picture, and there is a page about the sun, and one about the moon, and the one about the moon has a little square picture of A. MAN. WALKING. ON. THE. MOON!" and she said "really!?" and he said "yes, and he goes like boing...boing...boing" -- at which point he motioned with his index and middle fingers like a person jumping. and she said "he jumped ALL the way to the moon?" and he stopped, looked at her with an expression that might have well translated to "that is the most idiotic thing i have ever heard" and said "no! people jump ON the moon to get around because there is no gravity. people cannot jump TO the moon. the ASTRONAUTS flew there in SATURN FIVE. it is a huge rocket that fall apart as it blasts off!" she could not stop laughing, and she said "well, thank you for clearing that up!" he walked away and she said "well, i guess i learned my lesson on that one."

when he was getting his teeth done, he said "mommy is pregnant, and her baby is coming in march sometime. that is going to be a very long day."

basically, he charmed them all. ava, for her part, continued to establish her reputation in that office as an extremely serious smart kid, who refuses to be talked to like a kid. i don't know what transpired, but the dentist came in and said "she's something. pretty sharp, that kid."

well, carter had a bloody nose this am. not an "i just picked my nose into oblivion and now it is bleeding" bloody nose (we have had those too), but one of those "mommy, my nose is running and i need a tissue" bloody noses. ava has never really had one, and i think i may have had 1 in my entire lifetime, so i was slightly taken aback. it stopped, but not before he took great pleasure in blowing all the blood he could into a tissue to look at (i did actually discourage this, but he found it irresistable).

os a slightly less graphic note, the other day he was looking at a lightswitch, and asked "mommy, what does zero-f-f spell?" and i said "well, that is an o and it spells 'off'." so he flipped the switch and then looked at the other word for a long time, then said "does this say 'NO?'" i was speechless for a minute, then said well, you read it one way, it says no, but we usually read from left to right, so it says "on" -- i was trying desperately to give him credit for figuring out that it was NO backwards, and at the same time let him know that it actually was "on". and yesterday he was looking at the clock and he said "mom. it is 1:30. i told you it was 1:30...it is no12:30..." and i just nodded and said "ok, honey..." assuming this was part of one of his games, and did not even glance at the clock. he got up to leave, dropping the clock on the floor, and when i bent down to put the clock back where it belonged, it actually did say 1:30. i know he has no concept of time itself, but i am starting to wonder if the numbers themselves acually make sense. obviously it could be a fluke...but an interesting one.

today in the deli, he asked "mommy...why are tomatoes red? what is that man eating? why did i get orange toothpicks? why does that man have blue eyes?" -- the man laughed and i lifted my hands in a "what can i do?" expression and said "well, that's the way his genes made his eyes..." and then i said to the man "i'm sorry, i am sure you did not expect to be so scrutinized at lunch..." and he was a really good sport and said "i love those questions."

but the most disconcerting series of questions came the other week at public skating. he was tired and i was tired, so we were resting on the bench, and out of the blue he asked me who my great great great grandmother was. i did my best to answer (i don't really know their names), and then he said "can i meet them?" and at this point the man sitting on the other side of carter started to suppres a smile, and i dodged a bit and said "well, they finished living a long time ago--even i never met them." and he said "are they dead?" and i said yes. and then the inevitable series of questions that i really wanted to answere at home, alone, without all of the holiday vacationers surrounding me, began. "why are they dead?" "am i/are you/is (insert name) going to die?" "when?" "why?" by this point, the man next to him was desperately trying not to laugh at this, so as to afford carter a degree of respect for what was obviously an important conversation, but i caught his eye at one point, and he just gave me a look that said "been there, done that..."

today we also went to the wild center for the first time in a long time, and on the way there, ava played her game of "what color will the admission tag be?" and since today was saturday she aske me what colors bagan with "S" -- and i said "scarlett" "scarlett? what is that?" "it is a bright deep red" "oh, i think it will be scarlett." lo and behold, the tags were bright red. thank you universe for a terrific vocabulary lesson!

both kids relentlessly ask me what different words mean, and this is great, because it certainly taxes my brain (try it--it is harder than you think to provide a definition for a word that accurately and succinctly provides the meaning without using a variation of the word itself). today we had "shuffle" (easy to define) and "scoffed" (not as easy to define). some others too though i cannot remember what they were.

when we got home, carter and dad read books and this allowed me to finally help ava open one of her christmas gifts, which was a microscope kit. it is a 'big person necessary' sort of activity, primarily because the kit came with a scalpel, but also because it just requires a lot of help to get everything lined up, in focus, etc. the lenses were not all that great--there was a weird prism effect, but they were good enough, and she was rapt. and she really took it all in--she wanted to know what the smallest things were that she could see, and when i went so far as to explain that a light microscope (not this one) could provide resolution for things that were larger than the waves of light -- the waves being a concept she grasped remarkably quickly -- "dad! light moves in waves just like water!" -- but anything smaller would have to be looked at with an electron microscope, she seemed to understand at least that there was a limit, and that it was defined by these waves. then of course carter asked if we could please get an electron microscope.

oh. sure. why not? one electron microscope coming up!

we finally went skating on the oval today--this is the outdoor 1980 olympic speed skating oval in lake placid, which has public skating throughout the winter and which we have been eagerly awaiting, since 1. now it is right down the road from us and not 45 minutes away and 2. carter is finally skating with enthusiasm. unfortunately, they delayed opening it this year, as ORDA (olympic regional development authority) is under financial restrictions per the state and i guess running it -- the refrigeration and staffing and zamboni-ing etc was too costly. it was opened just before christmas, but then only limited hours and often only for the speed skaters. public skating was held inside, in the 32 arena. (this is the 1932 olympic arena--we are just swimming in history here...) this was fine, but it was just not the oval. finally they had public skate during the day outside, but then of course it was about 0 degrees, which will turn any 3-year-old into an anti-skating monster in about 2 minutes. today, finally, it was warm (low 20s) and open and the stars alligned.

ava immediately started skating around at mock speed, lapping carter and i 3 times for every lap we did, but it was great because usually she heads straight for the center of the rink and does her little tricks, but never really gets going--she prefers to spin and spiral and do bunny hops vs actually go fast in a circle. at the oval, there is no center--well, there is, but it is grass. she was forced to go with the tide, and as she really likes the attention of being "such a young figure skater! wow!" she hams it up, and put a huge amount of effort into it. that, and the speed skaters had the inside lanes blocked off--VERY nervewracking to be the person in charge of carter, who will change direction in a split second and i was constantly fearful of having to rescue him from the oncoming train of speed skaters--but it served to squish ava even more into skating with everyone else. it also served to inspire ava and carter, both of whom announced that they wanted to try speed skating. ava appeared to be very curious, staring at their skates and watching the process very intently, and at the end, there was a young teenager taking her skates off, and i told her to go ask her how old she was when she started speed skating. this girl started at 7, though i am not sure if that meant started on skates at 7, or speed skating at 7. regardless, ava seemed very eager, which i found interesting. we'll see if she likes it as much as figure skating, which somehow gets to the core of her being--she pretty much dances and spins and leaps her way through the whole day, without even really being aware that this is what she is doing. carter had to stop and watch the skaters fly by every time, and he was not as vocal about wanting to do it, but he certainly was absorbing it all. both kids were intensely interested in the anatomy of the skates, something that i know very little about, but definitely picked up on a lot just listening to the skaters.

there is a benefit to being a very small pregnant lady, and that is that i can scoot right out there without anyone having a cow over me doing something "dangerous" -- i am 32 weeks pregnant, and with my big puffy coat on, no one can tell. and before anyone reading this has a cow, i have fallen 2ce in this pregnancy--once on our stairs, and once just the other day on the golf course. in both instances, i was simply walking. in the latter, i was walking through snow, and did not know the golf cart path was under the snow--nor did i have any clue that it was solid ice, and i hit it and went down like a ton of bricks. interestingly, i did not get hurt.

i do get some looks when i take my coat off inside the lodge or the skate shack, but very few comments. i think i look about 6 months pregnant. i don't know why i am so small this time--i was huge with carter and certainly a lot bigger even with ava. i measure exactly where i should be, so no one is worried about the baby being small (least of all me), but everything is just very compact. i can still lie almost completely on my belly. i still feel ok, though the random aches and pains are increasing, and i am oddly nauseous and very tired again. it is like i am back in the 1st trimester. that is also not what i went through with ava and carter. perhaps it is just the fact that i am chasing after 2 small kids--between the calories burned and the sleep lost i am staying tiny, exhausted, and well, nauseous -- not sure about that last one. the one thing that is not different is the restless leg syndrome. it is as bad as it ever was with the other 2, and it really stinks. i have all the sympathy in the world for people who deal with that all the time, and not just when they are pregnant. that is the one thing that will keep me counting down the days, obsessively, hoping for relief.

8 weeks to go. and i finally ordered the car seat. and the cosleeper, and the bjorn, and something else. yes, we gave all of those things away several years ago. and yes, i said at the time: "you know this guarantees that we are having 3 kids, right?"

carter is totally into art and drawing and writing (his version) now. often i can find him lying on his belly, pad on the floor in front of him, talking to himself, drawing away...this is so great. not only that, but he is suddenly interested in drawing THINGS. not just random colors/designs--this corresponded to a sudden increase in small motor skills a few months ago, and the satisfaction of being able to control his pencil/pen/crayon. the gender difference is amazing. this was all ava wanted to do from the time she was about 2.5 years on, and it just was not on carter's radar until recently.

there are other subtle changes in him too that make me pause and look at him differently--he is growing more into a kid, and probably more than i realize. there is just a more mature way of perceiving the world, and he certainly has some strong opinions, as well as personal likes and dislikes. his niche in the world has been so eclipsed by ava for so long that it is nice to see him becoming his own self. my favorite is that he likes his long hair. "i like it CURLY!" he will yell if anyone threatens to cut it.

that and he is very snuggly lately.

i managed to earn some points towards all natural mother of the year this afternoon--we made homemade jello--to rave reviews i might add. i called it raspberry apple, but really i used raspberry tea and apple juice--but if the kids had known it was tea they probably would not have eaten it. it is RIDICULOUSLY easy to make. so ridiculously easy, the fact that JELL-O even exists is amazing--talk about the biggest ruse ever--"you must buy this product or you cannot have jello." HA! the only difference is that you have to boil juice and not just water. ooooooohhhhh...but i remained duped for years--that box of gelatin sat in our cupboard for a very long time before today. talk about marketing genius on the part of jello.

however, our efforts to make pudding a few months ago did make me long for that little almost square box....definitely not as simple.