not feeling too great here in lake placid. mom is definitely struggling. hence the lack of posting...

but, to summarise the past few weeks:

ava cantered for the first time last weekend--she did not mean to at first, she was just trying to get her horse to trot, but he cantered instead. at the time she was practicing without stirrups. so she cantered without stirrups. just fine. of course, i missed it. apparently, the teacher was astonished and ava was ecstatic, so the did it again, this time on purpose and with stirrups. typical ava.

she started gymnastics. not sure if i mentioned that. adores it.

she started ballet. hated it. not going to happen. can't understand it.

school drop off is miserable for her, though she appears to be doing well once she is established in her room.

speaking of school, i am now on the education council (basically a school board). that makes 2 boards that i am a part of. huh. who would have thought? kids change everything.

carter is trying to figure out the world. the questions are relentless. we recently discussed infinity,though he is still processing that. he constantly wants to know how we know things. "how did you know where my school is? how do you know his/her/my name? how is this made? is this a machine? how do you know that?"

the other morning, he announced that he had dreamt about mountain climbing. i nearly dropped the plate i was holding, and said "i dreamt about mountain climbing too!" it was VERY weird.

he is very into counting. and adding. though he makes up his own rules. for him, 0+0= 1.

and he really wants too know why 5+5=10, not 11. or 3+3=6, not 5. so we have been doing lots of visual addition with legos. but he is struggling with the fact that the word/name for a quantity of something is different from the quantity itself. it is amazing what their brains have to confront.

and anna is singing now. it is very adorable.

anna is waving. i swear. people say hi, and she lifts her arm up and down. she also is desperately trying to crawl. she gets up on her hands and knees pretty easily these days, then does the back and forth rocking that looks like she is revving her engine. she does not yet have the strength to pick up a hand or knee, but she is working hard at it. she can definitely move backwards and in a circle on her tummy. i took her to the opthamologist in burlington on monday, and she got an a+ for visual development, so that means the hemangioma has not pressed on her eyelid, which is great. she did have her eyes dilated, and that was pretty interesting. she kept looking at me with this puzzled look on her face, like "what in the world is going on?? i see you, i think, but i am not sure..." and she would wave her hands in front of her, trying to get a handle on the blurs of color and movement.

ava has got an incredible schedule these days. i almost referred to her skating as her "skating career" -- but i stopped myself just in time. she is very excited about it though. she has a locker in the big girl's locker room, she has a training notebook, and she is working hard on learning all of her jumps. the more structured, the better, which sort of is a no brainer for her. she is doing well in school, though every morning is a strain. she still cries when i leave. every day. i think this will go on for years. it kills me. i want her to love school, and i can't make that happen for her.

fall has arrived. it was 32 degrees this morning. we are planning to pick apples, pumpkins, and the cornmaze. when we are going to manage to do that, i have NO idea.

tomorrow, anna will be 6 months old. and she is more than ready to join the world--these days i walk around with her on my hip and her head swivels this way and that in a desperate attempt to see everything that i am doing, and if possible to grab it. her hands go out at everything. near, far, doesn't matter, she reaches to Get It! It is SO Interesting! Let Me Have It NOW!!

she is still pretty much happy go lucky,though she does finally understand that when i leave the room she can yell and i will return. she enjoys this power. she does not really want to be left alone these days, and while i can let her sit for reasonably long periods of time in her jumperoo, when she is ready to get out, she just starts yelling. not crying, just yelling. loud.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

at first she looks like she is enjoying the process of making the sound, but eventually her brow furrows and she stares at me, directing the force of her voice like a laser beam. but the best part is when i pick her up because she always, without fail, lunges into a huge snuggle into my shoulder and neck--she burrows her face in there and squeals and hugs with her arms and bounces with her legs and bottom. and then she looks up and makes eye contact, smiles and squeals. and that is another loud sound that she loves. it seems that her goal is to find the highest possible pitch to express her joy.

and then of course there is her laughter. she loves to laugh. peekaboo will guarantee it, as will a visit to the mirror. but many other things will get her going, and if another person is laughing, she will join in.

sound is basically something she loves. it is pretty much nonstop--either the aforementioned yells and squeals and screams, or mamamamamamamamama, dadadadadadadadadada, buh buh buh buh buh, ya ya ya ya ya ya , di dii di di di di di di,-- even when she is nursing, she tends to sing "mmmmmmm mmmmmm mmmmmm" -- which makes me think fondly of my friend jenny who liked to hum while she ate.

as for eating, she will not take anything off a spoon. i try at least once a day, and she just holds her tongue out and her mouth open in an expression of "ge iii oooo I ooonngguee oooww" -- (get it off my tongue now). but. she loves her little mesh bag that i can fill with fruit, and she even enjoys little pieces of cheerios. in fact, she loves that. i just don't get it. so, i am thinking perhaps we can just skip right over that pureed food part.

of course after eating all that fruit, she is a sticky mess, so we move on to her absolute favorite part of the day, her bath. she gets the prize for most enthusiastic bather. when we are in there, all she wants to do is float on her back and stretch waaaaay out, then kick a bit. she also enjoys splashing and floating on her tummy so that she can stick her face in the water, but really she tries to float on her back as much as possible--she will fling her head back into the water forcefully, and i have to be really prepared for it. it is a very weird thing for a baby to like. most kids desperately try to keep the back of their heads very clear of the water.

we went to the beach today, and she is now strong enough to lie on her tummy and plyy with the sand, which only made it into her mouth 2ce--she really adored spreading it around though--it was fascinating. and she is at the point where if you put her in the middle of the blanket she can squirm and wiggle all over it, often backwards, but sometimes forwards, always in a circle (like a clock). sometimes she even gets herself up on all fours which really makes her proud. she can sit unassisted for a few seconds, and for a long time with someone offering occasional support--she no longer just folds over in half. those stomach muscles are growing!

but truly, the thing that distinguishes anna is quite simply, her joy. the other kids were definitely always happy to see me, or others they knew, but she takes it to another level entirely. when you make eye contact with her, she explodes in a huge grin, so big you can see the muscles in her face straining, and she squeals and laughs and jumps and kicks. it is such a gift to have someone react to you that way. she basically constantly reiterates the phrase everyone needs to hear over and over "you are so loved by me! i adore you. life is so great to have brought you to me." and of course, one can't help but hold her tight and say the same thing to her. and i always add "thank you."

school is almost here...and i will once again be able to update this blog. holy cow, it is impossible to find the time. not to mention that the kid's sleep schedules have all suddenly divested themselves of any sense of harmony. ava suddenly decided that her body won't go to sleep before 9 pm. at least for 3 or 4 days, then she crashes hard at 7:30. but i am usually entertaining her until 9. then i have to run around and do the chores for getting ready for the next day, and get to bed around 10:30. then anna wakes up sometime around 11:30 or midnight and giggles for about 2 hours, and finally drifts off. then carter gets up at 5. it is not the way i envisioned getting one on one time with each of them.

anyway, this morning at 5:05, carter said to me as we sat on the couch and watched the lake placid village municipal vehicles do their job "mommy, do you remember those girls in the lake that were dressed up like watermelons?"

"watermelons?"

"yes"

"where?"

"in the water"

"when we were swimming yesterday?"

"yes"

"carter, i really think this was a dream"

at this he just looked at me, digesting this.

"i guess so"

"tell me what happened in your dream."

"well, i was swimming and i was having trouble getting out onto the dock and these watermelons came up and turned into these girls who helped me get out."

"they saved you?"

"yes"

at this point i was having a hard time not laughing at the image of bobbing lifeguard watermelon fairies, but managed to keep a straight face and we kept discussing dreams.

then he followed this surreal story with "mom, is mary everywhere, like god is?"

the stuff that goes on in his head is truly mindboggling. i love it.