in the last 8 weeks, ava grew one inch, and carter grew and inch and a half. that would be a Growth Spurt. more like a GROWTH SPURT!!!!!!! perhaps that explains the behavioral upheaval.
that is a heck of a lot of cells to manufacture.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
yes, it is july 29, and i have written nothing for 9 days. but it has been a non-stop whirlwind of birthday activities for ava, plus a visit from grandma, and a lot of catching up on things like cleaning the house and going through a week of mail etc. and i have been collapsing exhausted into the bed when the kids fall asleep because for some reason i have been spending the hours between 2 and 5 awake, lying there, listening to my children sleep. WHY??????? dear god, why? so, if i have a second, it has been spent in catching up on sleep.
anyway, in a nutshell, birthday week went very well. ava had a pink party, and i had 9 children here, plus attendant adults. 9 children is a ridiculously stupid number of kids to let your four-year old daughter invite, particularly when you are a neurotic mess when only 2 are here, feeling an overwhelming sense of responsibility for their fun and safety. but it went off without a hitch, save for one unattended (not my choice) child's effort to love the guinea pig to death. ava was close to implosion by the end--so much excitement and input and people and stuff and SUGAR! she was literally bouncing off the walls, so i exiled her, carter, peter and grandma to skating while i cleaned up.
fortunately no one noticed that the cupcakes were a bit messy because i had iced them, de-iced them and re-iced them with better icing once ava and i decided that the first choice was awful. that decision resulted in a frantic trip to the store to buy 4 more tubs of icing, scraping the bad icing off of 48 cupcakes (some were for her skating friends), and reicing them. it was a very sticky endeavor, made all the more excruciating because i had gotten up at 3 am in order to make all of the food for the party. i was barely functional.
for a non-sweet pink food we had borscht. and it was PINK. it was probably the most pink food we could have made. tasty too. but also a lot of work.
the hero of the week was most certainly grandma. she kept cheerfully showing up at 9 am, taking the kids off on all sorts of adventures and letting me maintain control of a very chaotic scenario. she even took carter on her last day so that ava could have quiet time with mommy. we went to the grocery store, not exactly the most exciting thing we could have done, but it was very restorative for ava to have no little brother around. so, thank you grandma.
and ava managed to get over her fear of thunderstorms and she finally went swimming at the beach. though that ended up being rescinded today when she panicked at our pond. but yesterday is was thunder-y, as well as the day prior, so it is at least understandable.
carter blew through the week with mostly good spirits, but boy oh boy does he want to sleep. he has been sleeping like crazy. 2 hour naps and in bed at 7. i am not sure if it is growth, teeth, cognitive development, tons of activity or all of the above, but whew. you would think i was keeping him up with me during those insomniac hours.
totally off topic: we were in lake placid the other day, and a big kid rolled by on a skateboard. you would have thought it was santa and his reindeer, given the way carter's eyes bulged out of his head. he looked at me, mouth agape, and then looked at the skateboard dude, and pointed at him and then said in almost a trance as he pointed to himself "uh-huh!"
and now he plays skater dude, where he holds on to something and swings his foot as if he is propelling a skateboard. he understood immediately what the deal was with that nifty piece of transportation and he is ready when i am.
ava was very cute today. she said to me: "you know mom, i really like EVERYTHING that i got for my birthday--isn't that great?"
god. she is FOUR. that is amazing.
anyway, in a nutshell, birthday week went very well. ava had a pink party, and i had 9 children here, plus attendant adults. 9 children is a ridiculously stupid number of kids to let your four-year old daughter invite, particularly when you are a neurotic mess when only 2 are here, feeling an overwhelming sense of responsibility for their fun and safety. but it went off without a hitch, save for one unattended (not my choice) child's effort to love the guinea pig to death. ava was close to implosion by the end--so much excitement and input and people and stuff and SUGAR! she was literally bouncing off the walls, so i exiled her, carter, peter and grandma to skating while i cleaned up.
fortunately no one noticed that the cupcakes were a bit messy because i had iced them, de-iced them and re-iced them with better icing once ava and i decided that the first choice was awful. that decision resulted in a frantic trip to the store to buy 4 more tubs of icing, scraping the bad icing off of 48 cupcakes (some were for her skating friends), and reicing them. it was a very sticky endeavor, made all the more excruciating because i had gotten up at 3 am in order to make all of the food for the party. i was barely functional.
for a non-sweet pink food we had borscht. and it was PINK. it was probably the most pink food we could have made. tasty too. but also a lot of work.
the hero of the week was most certainly grandma. she kept cheerfully showing up at 9 am, taking the kids off on all sorts of adventures and letting me maintain control of a very chaotic scenario. she even took carter on her last day so that ava could have quiet time with mommy. we went to the grocery store, not exactly the most exciting thing we could have done, but it was very restorative for ava to have no little brother around. so, thank you grandma.
and ava managed to get over her fear of thunderstorms and she finally went swimming at the beach. though that ended up being rescinded today when she panicked at our pond. but yesterday is was thunder-y, as well as the day prior, so it is at least understandable.
carter blew through the week with mostly good spirits, but boy oh boy does he want to sleep. he has been sleeping like crazy. 2 hour naps and in bed at 7. i am not sure if it is growth, teeth, cognitive development, tons of activity or all of the above, but whew. you would think i was keeping him up with me during those insomniac hours.
totally off topic: we were in lake placid the other day, and a big kid rolled by on a skateboard. you would have thought it was santa and his reindeer, given the way carter's eyes bulged out of his head. he looked at me, mouth agape, and then looked at the skateboard dude, and pointed at him and then said in almost a trance as he pointed to himself "uh-huh!"
and now he plays skater dude, where he holds on to something and swings his foot as if he is propelling a skateboard. he understood immediately what the deal was with that nifty piece of transportation and he is ready when i am.
ava was very cute today. she said to me: "you know mom, i really like EVERYTHING that i got for my birthday--isn't that great?"
god. she is FOUR. that is amazing.
Friday, July 20, 2007
life is a bit challenging these days: ava is petrified of going outside, due to the remote chance that she might get "bumped" by lightning. PETRIFIED. it is a very difficult thing to deal with. primarily because i have another child that is dying to go outside. not to mention myself. we have talked and talked about it, she seems to understand the relative risk (lightning=not so much of a risk, logging truck on our road=major daily risk), that there will not be lightning when there are blue skies ("BLUE!"), and so on. to no avail. she needs a roof over her head. so today, that roof became the roof of the little bike trailer. i was practically insane and just announced that this was what we were doing. amazingly, she dealt with it. probably because she was sheltered. in a metal frame trailer, but hey, i let that one go.
and it is REALLY tough to haul about 80 pounds behind you on a bike on a dirt road. ava is 35 lbs, carter is 25 lbs, and the trailer is about 20 lbs, maybe more, so i did not go exactly fast.
top it off, she has a new defiance that is very tough to handle. i cannot even discuss it yet.
but. the wakeup basket is going well, with the one exception being the sheer volume of artwork that both kids are producing. it always was hard to stay on top of, but now i am swimming in paintings and drawings -- and i actually do want to keep track of it, so each night i am sitting down with them, relegating the redundancies or the not so exciting ones to the recycle bin and signing and dating the others.
carter was painting little blue marks all over his paper the other day, then he stopped, pointed to one and said "meow" -- apparently he was painting blue cats. i believe they were his first acknowledged representational art.
he is DEFINITELY about to be 2. he has his own tantrums, and wow. worst part is he loses all communicative skill, because when you are flailing around and crying, it is very hard to sign. so often i have absolutely NO IDEA what he is upset about.
it is amazing how challenging it is to guide 2 small children through a day. there are many other challenges in life, and some that are truly harder to learn and accomplish, but wowie, this one is hard in a unique way, and i think it might be because i am basically required to be the master brain for 3 people. my brain has to do all of the emotional regulating that their brains are not ready to do. not only that, but it also has to do all --well, almost all -- of the logical reasoning and much of the cognitive processing, guiding their heads through the steps of finding an answer, making a good decision, and so on. i have to be inside their heads AND mine at all times. and that is a lot of information that is very hard to keep track of.
and it is REALLY tough to haul about 80 pounds behind you on a bike on a dirt road. ava is 35 lbs, carter is 25 lbs, and the trailer is about 20 lbs, maybe more, so i did not go exactly fast.
top it off, she has a new defiance that is very tough to handle. i cannot even discuss it yet.
but. the wakeup basket is going well, with the one exception being the sheer volume of artwork that both kids are producing. it always was hard to stay on top of, but now i am swimming in paintings and drawings -- and i actually do want to keep track of it, so each night i am sitting down with them, relegating the redundancies or the not so exciting ones to the recycle bin and signing and dating the others.
carter was painting little blue marks all over his paper the other day, then he stopped, pointed to one and said "meow" -- apparently he was painting blue cats. i believe they were his first acknowledged representational art.
he is DEFINITELY about to be 2. he has his own tantrums, and wow. worst part is he loses all communicative skill, because when you are flailing around and crying, it is very hard to sign. so often i have absolutely NO IDEA what he is upset about.
it is amazing how challenging it is to guide 2 small children through a day. there are many other challenges in life, and some that are truly harder to learn and accomplish, but wowie, this one is hard in a unique way, and i think it might be because i am basically required to be the master brain for 3 people. my brain has to do all of the emotional regulating that their brains are not ready to do. not only that, but it also has to do all --well, almost all -- of the logical reasoning and much of the cognitive processing, guiding their heads through the steps of finding an answer, making a good decision, and so on. i have to be inside their heads AND mine at all times. and that is a lot of information that is very hard to keep track of.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
For the past few days, Ava has had a bit of a hard time. She manages to get herself in a teeny tiny bit of trouble, and when reprimanded, she makes it a whole lot worse, to put it mildly. It is almost like she is embarrassed and so to save face she ups the ante. No need for great detail, but suffice it so say that she ends up losing control and in a puddle of angry tantrum-y tears screaming things that are unbelievable. It is hard to deal with, and it has befuddled me these last few days. A couple of times I have managed to get her to stop and reflect before she dives in, and was very proud of myself that one of those moments was in the grocery store. She is shifting a lot, and I am always curious if a developmental change is the root of some of these issues.
However, tonight was different. Everything was winding down and the only task left was to brush teeth. She was happy and playing and then she melted. She came up to me, sobbing, saying that she did not want to brush her teeth, she didn’t like it, and so on. I stared at her. She has NEVER protested brushing her teeth. Not once. Carter, yes. Ava? Loves it. And yet, with huge tears dropping off the end of her nose, she wailed that she just couldn’t brush her teeth. I knelt down and said “now, who are you? Did you take Ava away? You must be someone new. Because Ava loves to brush her teeth…”
In any other scenario, this would usually get her to laugh, but no. More choking tears. So, we lay down on the bed, while she sobbed and sobbed. Obviously “I don’t like to brush my teeth” translated to “I have no idea why I am so upset but I am really upset and have this huge gush of emotion that I cannot cope with because I am four and I have tried being mad but that did not work and now I am just sad and very much at the mercy of this giant unknown that is myself…”
So, we just lay there, and finally, finally, I was able to sing a song and brush her teeth. I sang her “this little light of mine,” a song she loves, and she relaxed and let me brush her teeth, all the while with huge, sad, and, frankly, scared eyes.
After that, we were ready to go to bed. She was on the cusp of being ok when Carter ran in and jumped on us, and a new onslaught of tears hit her as she begged for some quiet time, just Ava and Mom. That was next to impossible, as Carter was also exhausted and would not have put up with being excommunicated from the evening ritual. So she lay there clinging to me and sobbing quietly as I prepared to read them their story. It was heart wrenching.
I looked at her, and knew that any sort of platitudes would be useless, because it was obvious that everything was not ok and would not be ok in the foreseeable future and to suggest something so banal would be really callous of me, denying the fact that there was something, even if unidentifiable, very wrong. So, I asked her if she would like to say a prayer to help her feel better.
“Yes” she said.
Now, I have made an effort to teach her about god by including beliefs, rituals and stories (simple ideas, obviously) from all sorts of religious traditions. Thus, she knows about the ideas of Jesus and Mary, yoga, hindu mantras, reincarnation, etc. I have taken great pains to tell her that God is the good energy in the world, and that people have all sorts of ways of describing that good energy. We have adopted a tradition that I gleaned from a Quaker magazine in which we sit and talk about where we found god in the course of our day (sometimes it is pretty funny), and we say a Buddhist prayer for people we both love and have trouble loving, and sometimes we sing OM (Carter loves that), and sometimes we say the Hail Mary.
Tonight I asked her what prayer she would like, and she said “the Hail Mary.” It was so heartfelt that I nearly started crying myself. I personally think Mary is terrific, especially that she has transcended so much of the current religious rigamorole paralyzing this world. It is almost like since she is someone’s mom, no one is about to mess with her. Everyone just steps back and lets Mary be her graceful self. I don’t really see her as a Catholic thing, though of course that is an obvious bias on my part, even if I am a very lapsed Catholic.
So, the Hail Mary it was. I said it a couple of times and she repeated lines, and then at the end I closed my eyes and said “Dear Mary, please please please wrap Ava up in your wonderful grace and love and warmth and help her feel happy and safe and cared for and loved. She is sad and I don’t want her to be sad.” And by this point she was crying and clutching me, and I was crying, and she said “please say it again.” So I did, three times, and finally she stopped sobbing, and then she relaxed her grip, and with a huge sigh she said “thank you mommy.”
Thank you Mary.
However, tonight was different. Everything was winding down and the only task left was to brush teeth. She was happy and playing and then she melted. She came up to me, sobbing, saying that she did not want to brush her teeth, she didn’t like it, and so on. I stared at her. She has NEVER protested brushing her teeth. Not once. Carter, yes. Ava? Loves it. And yet, with huge tears dropping off the end of her nose, she wailed that she just couldn’t brush her teeth. I knelt down and said “now, who are you? Did you take Ava away? You must be someone new. Because Ava loves to brush her teeth…”
In any other scenario, this would usually get her to laugh, but no. More choking tears. So, we lay down on the bed, while she sobbed and sobbed. Obviously “I don’t like to brush my teeth” translated to “I have no idea why I am so upset but I am really upset and have this huge gush of emotion that I cannot cope with because I am four and I have tried being mad but that did not work and now I am just sad and very much at the mercy of this giant unknown that is myself…”
So, we just lay there, and finally, finally, I was able to sing a song and brush her teeth. I sang her “this little light of mine,” a song she loves, and she relaxed and let me brush her teeth, all the while with huge, sad, and, frankly, scared eyes.
After that, we were ready to go to bed. She was on the cusp of being ok when Carter ran in and jumped on us, and a new onslaught of tears hit her as she begged for some quiet time, just Ava and Mom. That was next to impossible, as Carter was also exhausted and would not have put up with being excommunicated from the evening ritual. So she lay there clinging to me and sobbing quietly as I prepared to read them their story. It was heart wrenching.
I looked at her, and knew that any sort of platitudes would be useless, because it was obvious that everything was not ok and would not be ok in the foreseeable future and to suggest something so banal would be really callous of me, denying the fact that there was something, even if unidentifiable, very wrong. So, I asked her if she would like to say a prayer to help her feel better.
“Yes” she said.
Now, I have made an effort to teach her about god by including beliefs, rituals and stories (simple ideas, obviously) from all sorts of religious traditions. Thus, she knows about the ideas of Jesus and Mary, yoga, hindu mantras, reincarnation, etc. I have taken great pains to tell her that God is the good energy in the world, and that people have all sorts of ways of describing that good energy. We have adopted a tradition that I gleaned from a Quaker magazine in which we sit and talk about where we found god in the course of our day (sometimes it is pretty funny), and we say a Buddhist prayer for people we both love and have trouble loving, and sometimes we sing OM (Carter loves that), and sometimes we say the Hail Mary.
Tonight I asked her what prayer she would like, and she said “the Hail Mary.” It was so heartfelt that I nearly started crying myself. I personally think Mary is terrific, especially that she has transcended so much of the current religious rigamorole paralyzing this world. It is almost like since she is someone’s mom, no one is about to mess with her. Everyone just steps back and lets Mary be her graceful self. I don’t really see her as a Catholic thing, though of course that is an obvious bias on my part, even if I am a very lapsed Catholic.
So, the Hail Mary it was. I said it a couple of times and she repeated lines, and then at the end I closed my eyes and said “Dear Mary, please please please wrap Ava up in your wonderful grace and love and warmth and help her feel happy and safe and cared for and loved. She is sad and I don’t want her to be sad.” And by this point she was crying and clutching me, and I was crying, and she said “please say it again.” So I did, three times, and finally she stopped sobbing, and then she relaxed her grip, and with a huge sigh she said “thank you mommy.”
Thank you Mary.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
"hey mommy! i have a great idea! we could try to find out what mushrooms are poisonous and what mushrooms you can eat by looking them up on the internet! let's do that! that's a great idea!"
and so, we managed to spend an hour (ava managed to spend an hour) on a website devoted to the classification of mushrooms. THOUSANDS of mushrooms to look at. click on the latin name, get a picture, all of the taxonomic details, plus a little picture of a fork and knife if it was edible and a skull and crossbones if not...
how completely random.
she was fascinated. of course, this was accompanied by "all mushrooms are poisonous unless you buy them in the store" on auto-repeat from mom. finally i said, "look. you don't even like mushrooms, so this is not an issue, right? no touching any mushrooms. ok?" and when she STILL asked about the mushrooms in our yard, i sat down and said "a poisonous mushroom and an ok mushroom can look exactly alike. the only difference is if you look at them under a microscope? since we are not mushroom-ologists, and we don't have a microscope, we are going to stick with the conservative approach here, ok? please don't argue with me anymore as to which mushrooms you think our fungi are."
"ok."
i know she does not want to eat them. but she loves the idea that there might be something so incredibly dangerous right there, in her dirt. now, if only we had a boa constrictor or a rattle snake or even maybe a wolf...that would be extra cool. bears? eh. no biggie. they eat blueberries.
and so, we managed to spend an hour (ava managed to spend an hour) on a website devoted to the classification of mushrooms. THOUSANDS of mushrooms to look at. click on the latin name, get a picture, all of the taxonomic details, plus a little picture of a fork and knife if it was edible and a skull and crossbones if not...
how completely random.
she was fascinated. of course, this was accompanied by "all mushrooms are poisonous unless you buy them in the store" on auto-repeat from mom. finally i said, "look. you don't even like mushrooms, so this is not an issue, right? no touching any mushrooms. ok?" and when she STILL asked about the mushrooms in our yard, i sat down and said "a poisonous mushroom and an ok mushroom can look exactly alike. the only difference is if you look at them under a microscope? since we are not mushroom-ologists, and we don't have a microscope, we are going to stick with the conservative approach here, ok? please don't argue with me anymore as to which mushrooms you think our fungi are."
"ok."
i know she does not want to eat them. but she loves the idea that there might be something so incredibly dangerous right there, in her dirt. now, if only we had a boa constrictor or a rattle snake or even maybe a wolf...that would be extra cool. bears? eh. no biggie. they eat blueberries.
Friday, July 06, 2007
advice:
if you can make an almost-4-year-old feel special, their behavior improves dramatically. and, if you can do it in the early am, when they wake up at an ungodly hour, long before the rest of the household is ready to stir, you might even get some extra sleep.
we have struggled with the fact that ava gets up an hour before carter would like to get up--i would be happy to get up with her, but i usually have to nurse carter back to sleep before i can do so. she does not want to wait for me to do that, and from her perspective, she feels a bit lonely and rejected, i am sure. but i am in a bind--if i get up and wake carter, he fusses and she does not get my attention. if i refuse to get up and try to put carter back to sleep, she fusses and wakes us up anyway, and she then either gets no attention or negative attention (in the form of "AVA! STOP JUMPING ON ME!"). and no matter what, the ugly tentacles of jealousy and disappointment and boredom grab hold of her emotions and everything spirals out of control, usually ending up in her getting in deeper trouble than she ever intended. not to mention the fact that she is hungry--probably starving--which does not help.
and then i had an idea. a wonderful, awesome idea (get the reference?)--give her a wakeup basket. we have a little basket that looks like something that you would go gather flowers in if you lived in 1850, and so it has a certain charm that attracts ava, and i told her that it would be ready in the morning, and her only job was to play quietly with whatever is in it. and then i filled it with quiet art supplies that she loves: envelopes, ribbon, glue stick (not her favorite, but she can forget about real glue), a spiral bound mini-pad, some pencils, a few crayons (never used. in her words: i'm just not a crayon person). and a few mini-marshmallows. call me a bad mother, but a shot of sugar is exactly what she needs, and she thinks it is amazing that mom is breaking a very firm rule.
result? HOURS of quiet play. HOURS. even after we wake up, she continues to play. and carter joins in. the last few mornings, i have been able to sit in the glider, drink my coffee, and watch them fuss around with all of the art supplies, completely occupied. it is bliss.
and she is completely psyched--she feels special, that is obvious--she has repeatedly come up to me and thrown herself in my arms and said "thank you mommy for my wake-up basket." she thrives on the activity, and she anticipates teh surprises-each night i add something different, and after the 1st night i got over my anxiety and let her have her scissors. she makes "presents" for people, and lately she has been very into drawing squares--either on her own or boxing her name in -- and often she will draw a square and then bisect it perfectly (give or take) with a line that starts on one side and ends at the other and does not cross the line. this in know is a new writing-oriented skill--to be able to control the pencil as well as to be concerned with keeping the dividing line within the boundaries of the larger shape. and of course, she continues to be a minimalist--she will take a huge piece of paper, put a teeny tiny sticker on it and bring it to me with all the pride she can muster. as far as she is concerned, it is a masterpiece. this is in keeping with her past artistic efforts. one mark. done. and now that she is allowed to have her scissors, she draws something, boxes it in, and then cuts out the box, and puts it in an envelope. it is great.
and my god! envelopes and cards and spiral bound mini-notebooks! what an amazing fascination she has with them. i need to stock up. carter loves them too--i gave him a crayon (blue), and a tiny 2x4 notebook in the car, and he spent 45 mintes writing in it. not sure he gets envelopes, but he is finally keen on art on paper. vs art in his mouth.
speaking of carter--ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava?....
he wants to do everything for her. god forbid i hand her a toothbrush.. you would think the world had collapsed around him. he immediately will burst into tears, crying AVA, and pointing to himself. translation: "i wanted to give ava that toothbrush, and now that you have done it, the world will never be the same again..." it is amazing. there must be doves singing hymns around her head in his world.
to her credit, she is generally very patient and very good about bringing him up to speed with How This Game Works, and How Things Need To Be.
if you can make an almost-4-year-old feel special, their behavior improves dramatically. and, if you can do it in the early am, when they wake up at an ungodly hour, long before the rest of the household is ready to stir, you might even get some extra sleep.
we have struggled with the fact that ava gets up an hour before carter would like to get up--i would be happy to get up with her, but i usually have to nurse carter back to sleep before i can do so. she does not want to wait for me to do that, and from her perspective, she feels a bit lonely and rejected, i am sure. but i am in a bind--if i get up and wake carter, he fusses and she does not get my attention. if i refuse to get up and try to put carter back to sleep, she fusses and wakes us up anyway, and she then either gets no attention or negative attention (in the form of "AVA! STOP JUMPING ON ME!"). and no matter what, the ugly tentacles of jealousy and disappointment and boredom grab hold of her emotions and everything spirals out of control, usually ending up in her getting in deeper trouble than she ever intended. not to mention the fact that she is hungry--probably starving--which does not help.
and then i had an idea. a wonderful, awesome idea (get the reference?)--give her a wakeup basket. we have a little basket that looks like something that you would go gather flowers in if you lived in 1850, and so it has a certain charm that attracts ava, and i told her that it would be ready in the morning, and her only job was to play quietly with whatever is in it. and then i filled it with quiet art supplies that she loves: envelopes, ribbon, glue stick (not her favorite, but she can forget about real glue), a spiral bound mini-pad, some pencils, a few crayons (never used. in her words: i'm just not a crayon person). and a few mini-marshmallows. call me a bad mother, but a shot of sugar is exactly what she needs, and she thinks it is amazing that mom is breaking a very firm rule.
result? HOURS of quiet play. HOURS. even after we wake up, she continues to play. and carter joins in. the last few mornings, i have been able to sit in the glider, drink my coffee, and watch them fuss around with all of the art supplies, completely occupied. it is bliss.
and she is completely psyched--she feels special, that is obvious--she has repeatedly come up to me and thrown herself in my arms and said "thank you mommy for my wake-up basket." she thrives on the activity, and she anticipates teh surprises-each night i add something different, and after the 1st night i got over my anxiety and let her have her scissors. she makes "presents" for people, and lately she has been very into drawing squares--either on her own or boxing her name in -- and often she will draw a square and then bisect it perfectly (give or take) with a line that starts on one side and ends at the other and does not cross the line. this in know is a new writing-oriented skill--to be able to control the pencil as well as to be concerned with keeping the dividing line within the boundaries of the larger shape. and of course, she continues to be a minimalist--she will take a huge piece of paper, put a teeny tiny sticker on it and bring it to me with all the pride she can muster. as far as she is concerned, it is a masterpiece. this is in keeping with her past artistic efforts. one mark. done. and now that she is allowed to have her scissors, she draws something, boxes it in, and then cuts out the box, and puts it in an envelope. it is great.
and my god! envelopes and cards and spiral bound mini-notebooks! what an amazing fascination she has with them. i need to stock up. carter loves them too--i gave him a crayon (blue), and a tiny 2x4 notebook in the car, and he spent 45 mintes writing in it. not sure he gets envelopes, but he is finally keen on art on paper. vs art in his mouth.
speaking of carter--ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava? ava?....
he wants to do everything for her. god forbid i hand her a toothbrush.. you would think the world had collapsed around him. he immediately will burst into tears, crying AVA, and pointing to himself. translation: "i wanted to give ava that toothbrush, and now that you have done it, the world will never be the same again..." it is amazing. there must be doves singing hymns around her head in his world.
to her credit, she is generally very patient and very good about bringing him up to speed with How This Game Works, and How Things Need To Be.
Monday, July 02, 2007
so, i received an email from the lead test kit people. apparently, there is a risk of a false positive with some materials, particularly wood. soooooo, i need to not do the "quick" method of testing, and instead do the laborious but far more accurate test. so, that is on the to do list.
we had playgroup at the playground today, and ava had so much fun--one of the other little girls that she has known for ages really engaged her, and ava dove right into all of the games. her reluctance to take part has finally worn off--she was very outgoing last summer, and then school took a bit of the wind out of her sail, and now she is back to wanting to be with friends--but in a different way--she wants to play with them--she was not really sure how to play with them last year. and that tended to get her in a jam--she would approach them, but then it would turn out that she could not figure out how to communicate. for as verbal as she is, it took her a while to understand kid-speak. part of it is that she and cater play now, and it seems to have finally occured to her that she does not have to play alone. and part of it is simply having an interest in the types of games that kids normally play. chase, tag, etc. these have suddenly become intriguing. which is terrific.
it was odd--on sunday ava and dad went off on their own, and carter and i were left here in the house on a grey cold day, and for a little while we had no idea what to do without ava. obviously both he and i rely on her to direct our play. and clearly i rely on her to exhaust carter, because i could not believe how much jumping he wanted me to do. (they like to hold the end of a piece of string and play wakeboarder). i want alone time with each of the kids, but it was not until sunday that i realized what a little unit the 3 of us actually are...
but carter and i did enjoy lots of toys that are usually part of the forbidden stash. he thought that was pretty neat. he would hold something up--something that he has been eyeing and coveting for months, and would say "ava?" and i would say, oh, that's ok. go ahead. and then he would run off with it saying "avA! ava! ava! aVA!" like "HA! i have it!"
we went to fish creek today and did the usual--swim, playground, bike. ava chatted with the lifeguards, and pretty much told them her life story. they politely nodded the whole time, but glazed over a bit when ava went into great scientific detail regarding monarch caterpillar eggs.
but it was entertaining to watch her try to master the correct body language. her speech said "i am confident" but her body screamed "i am SO not sure of myself..." -- arms folded, head tilted, one knee bent and hips shifted to the right and then the left and then the right. she looked like someone at a party that has not yet managed to find a drink or food to occupy their hands.
and then she invited them to come watch her ride her bike. because, to her, there is nothing more exciting to see than ava conquering her fear of scraping an elbow.
we had playgroup at the playground today, and ava had so much fun--one of the other little girls that she has known for ages really engaged her, and ava dove right into all of the games. her reluctance to take part has finally worn off--she was very outgoing last summer, and then school took a bit of the wind out of her sail, and now she is back to wanting to be with friends--but in a different way--she wants to play with them--she was not really sure how to play with them last year. and that tended to get her in a jam--she would approach them, but then it would turn out that she could not figure out how to communicate. for as verbal as she is, it took her a while to understand kid-speak. part of it is that she and cater play now, and it seems to have finally occured to her that she does not have to play alone. and part of it is simply having an interest in the types of games that kids normally play. chase, tag, etc. these have suddenly become intriguing. which is terrific.
it was odd--on sunday ava and dad went off on their own, and carter and i were left here in the house on a grey cold day, and for a little while we had no idea what to do without ava. obviously both he and i rely on her to direct our play. and clearly i rely on her to exhaust carter, because i could not believe how much jumping he wanted me to do. (they like to hold the end of a piece of string and play wakeboarder). i want alone time with each of the kids, but it was not until sunday that i realized what a little unit the 3 of us actually are...
but carter and i did enjoy lots of toys that are usually part of the forbidden stash. he thought that was pretty neat. he would hold something up--something that he has been eyeing and coveting for months, and would say "ava?" and i would say, oh, that's ok. go ahead. and then he would run off with it saying "avA! ava! ava! aVA!" like "HA! i have it!"
we went to fish creek today and did the usual--swim, playground, bike. ava chatted with the lifeguards, and pretty much told them her life story. they politely nodded the whole time, but glazed over a bit when ava went into great scientific detail regarding monarch caterpillar eggs.
but it was entertaining to watch her try to master the correct body language. her speech said "i am confident" but her body screamed "i am SO not sure of myself..." -- arms folded, head tilted, one knee bent and hips shifted to the right and then the left and then the right. she looked like someone at a party that has not yet managed to find a drink or food to occupy their hands.
and then she invited them to come watch her ride her bike. because, to her, there is nothing more exciting to see than ava conquering her fear of scraping an elbow.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
well, i sat down with my lead test kit and our thomas the train collection, and let's just say the results were not good.
1. we have 2 items on the recall list. both tested negative.
2. we have a TON of items not on the recall list. many tested positive. the most upsetting item that tested positive is all of the track. you know--the wood track? the UNPAINTED wood track? guess varnish is something to worry about too. my only hope is that the solvent in the lead test kit interacts with the varnish and strips it. but the varnish appears to be clear. basically, it makes no sense. i googled varnish and lead and apparently it is a possibility. i emailed the lead test compan for clarification.
then i did more goggling and searching. last year or so, a nurse identified a metal thomas the train toy as painted with lead paint in the home of a small child with lead poisoning. she notified the cpsc. nothing--NOTHING--was done. (rc2 corp--the company that is responsible--has been cited once before for lead paint in an entirely different toy line.) toys that have been recalled are still on shelves. the illinois attorney general's office has identified toys on the recall list packaged with toys not on the list, and thus not recalled. it literally goes on and on. and makes no sense, unless of course you remember the phenomenal power of greed.
i won't go on, but i have decided to have our thomas the train toys professionally analyzed. with complete, certified documentation. if any of it is positive, and those items are not on the recall list, you can bet that there will be a big noise emanating from the north country.
and THEN you read about all the other stuff we have to worry about. did you know that 50% of our apple juice comes from china? WHY????????? we literally have apples coming out our ears in the US it seems. vitamins, fillers, preservatives, and regular old ingredients are coming from china. perhaps i am naive here, but i was not aware that the ingredients in my cheerios might have crossed the pacific.
i am all for getting poor peasants on their feet and providing them with an entry into the middle class (there was an article to that end in the most recent Atlantic Monthly). but really. do i have to risk my own life and those of my kids for it?
it is just so upsetting. what's next?
on a lighter note, carter, ava and i went for a walk at the VIC (nature center trail system) this afternoon. only 0.6 miles, but perfect for carter. he literally ran the whole way. i am not sure if he knows how to walk.
and now he has a new word that we cannot decipher. "zzhsshaaaaa zzhhsshhaaa" (every time he says it, i unfortunately think of zsa zsa gabor). anyway, ava and i think it is yellow. but it could be telephone, grandma, cheerios, computer, hot dog or dinner. it is a mystery. but the yellow theme seems to be the most logical. 8 times out of 10 he refers to something yellow. but of course, if you ask him what color something is, he says "BUE!" and then laughs, like "no way, you're not going to trick me!"
today i wrote AVA on a piece of paper, and he yelled "AVA!" -- that was pretty great. he clearly has been studying those monogrammed towels.
1. we have 2 items on the recall list. both tested negative.
2. we have a TON of items not on the recall list. many tested positive. the most upsetting item that tested positive is all of the track. you know--the wood track? the UNPAINTED wood track? guess varnish is something to worry about too. my only hope is that the solvent in the lead test kit interacts with the varnish and strips it. but the varnish appears to be clear. basically, it makes no sense. i googled varnish and lead and apparently it is a possibility. i emailed the lead test compan for clarification.
then i did more goggling and searching. last year or so, a nurse identified a metal thomas the train toy as painted with lead paint in the home of a small child with lead poisoning. she notified the cpsc. nothing--NOTHING--was done. (rc2 corp--the company that is responsible--has been cited once before for lead paint in an entirely different toy line.) toys that have been recalled are still on shelves. the illinois attorney general's office has identified toys on the recall list packaged with toys not on the list, and thus not recalled. it literally goes on and on. and makes no sense, unless of course you remember the phenomenal power of greed.
i won't go on, but i have decided to have our thomas the train toys professionally analyzed. with complete, certified documentation. if any of it is positive, and those items are not on the recall list, you can bet that there will be a big noise emanating from the north country.
and THEN you read about all the other stuff we have to worry about. did you know that 50% of our apple juice comes from china? WHY????????? we literally have apples coming out our ears in the US it seems. vitamins, fillers, preservatives, and regular old ingredients are coming from china. perhaps i am naive here, but i was not aware that the ingredients in my cheerios might have crossed the pacific.
i am all for getting poor peasants on their feet and providing them with an entry into the middle class (there was an article to that end in the most recent Atlantic Monthly). but really. do i have to risk my own life and those of my kids for it?
it is just so upsetting. what's next?
on a lighter note, carter, ava and i went for a walk at the VIC (nature center trail system) this afternoon. only 0.6 miles, but perfect for carter. he literally ran the whole way. i am not sure if he knows how to walk.
and now he has a new word that we cannot decipher. "zzhsshaaaaa zzhhsshhaaa" (every time he says it, i unfortunately think of zsa zsa gabor). anyway, ava and i think it is yellow. but it could be telephone, grandma, cheerios, computer, hot dog or dinner. it is a mystery. but the yellow theme seems to be the most logical. 8 times out of 10 he refers to something yellow. but of course, if you ask him what color something is, he says "BUE!" and then laughs, like "no way, you're not going to trick me!"
today i wrote AVA on a piece of paper, and he yelled "AVA!" -- that was pretty great. he clearly has been studying those monogrammed towels.
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