if there were any question about ava's very specific sense of style, see above. top bin has pants, bottom bin has tops. the grey pants are an anomaly, and took a little convincing...

pink, black, red, white. thats IT!

there is only one word that carter does not yet say: little. he still signs that. everything else? constant monologue. whatever he hears, he says.

ava: "carter! see the otter signs?!" (referencing the wild center signs that have an otter on them).

carter: "mommy! daddy! otter signs!"

my favorite was when we were waiting for our (gulp, ugh, i hate this...) cheeseburgers at mcdonalds in the drive through line--referring to the car in front of us:

"mommy, this car, go?"

or, referring to ava's skate coach:

"lorna teach me?"

in one short month, we have gone from nothing to sentences. superb.

ok. almost through the crunch. last night we had a christmas party to go to, and i actually think that might be the very last holiday event. besides new years, which is a non-event for the kids, really.

christmas was very successful, basically. on the saturday before the big event we went to the mountain one last time. the holiday week was due to start on monday, and our passes would be no good after that. then we made an attempt at going out to dinner at howard johnsons. i have managed the 2 kids at the pizza place pretty successfully, and thought this would be easy, though perhaps a bit greasy. no. not easy.do not, ever, take a small child or children to a restaurant if they are not completely starving. and especially not one with a 'food bar.' a very hungry child in a pizza place is easy: hungry? pizza. he or she knows what is coming. no guesses, no choices, nothing but solution to the problem of hungry tummy. in a place with a food bar, the hunger is quickly replaced with curiosity. so, we exited as quickly as possible, but not without establishing that carter does not like green jello, red jello, canned peaches, corn relish, cottage cheese, chicken wings, or broccoli.

when we returned home, guess what both kids wanted? food.

then, in a moment of supreme brilliance, i wrapped all of the kid's presents after they had fallen asleep.

later that evening, around 1 am, i woke up very suddenly and feeling not so great. i attributed it to it being the middle of the night and tried to go back to sleep. 1.5 hours later, i finally drifted off. carter woke me up a half-hour later, for a few minutes. then at 5 am, my eyes flew open. something was very very wrong. i lay quietly for a few minutes, localizing the discomfort, then came to a realization and bolted to the bathroom. now, there was NOTHING in my stomach. this did not make my brain relinquish its efforts to empty it. as far as it was concerned, there was something very very toxic in my belly, and it had to be out IMMEDIATELY. i spent the next 2 hours slumped on the bathroom floor, praying for it to end. i finally fell back to sleep, only to wake up again to the same routine. when the rest of the family woke up, i was literally unable to do anything. i collapsed in the big-person bed, and they fended for themselves. carter snuck in for a nap around 11, and he and i slept until 1. when we woke up, peter and ava had disappeared to go skate at the oval, and carter and i played quietly for the rest of the day. when peter and ava came home, they brought a movie. which one? RATATOUILLE. ugh. i could barely cope, since any mention of food made me heave. but i had been steadily improving, and after falling asllep at 8 pm, i woke up on christmas eve without nausea. intense pain in my abdomen? yes. nausea? no. peter and ava left again, and carter and i played quietly one more time. this automatically set us up for a mellow christmas eve. chrismas eve for me has always been a Big Deal, and so it is very hard to let go of that, but it actually was the best thing to have happened--the kids were relaxed, there were no huge messes, and the pain in my belly had finally subsided.

christmas morning found me healthy. i could not have been more pleased. whatever it was, it was gone. no one else got it, so i doubt it was a virus. and had it been food poisoning, we all should have gotten it, since i did not eat anything that anyone else hadn't eaten. it was weird.

anyway, christmas morning went by very quickly. ava recovered from an initial disappointment, in which she thought santa had brought her something that she had (secretly) asked him for and then when she realized that was not the case, she had a tough time seeing the value in her other presents. but she finally was ok, and started to enjoy herself. and she really enjoyed giving carter a gift, which was terrific. most of the toys have been well-received, after several days of getting to know them. the playmobil things were not intriguing in the box, but once i started assembling them she became very interested. carter, for his part, thought everything was great. and he got the playmobil airplane, which has been so sccessful, he has asked to sleep with it. as an aside, playmobil is utterly terrific. very small small small pieces, and thousands of them (requiring a LOT of parental imvolvement), but ultimately easy to put together and a lot of fun to play with. even for parents.

i made french toast, but the kids were not interested. carter finally fell asleep for his nap at 11, and we made it over to nana's and da's by 2ish. from 2:00 to 2:05 we opened presents, then the kids played for a bit, and then the excitement and frankly, pressure, of the day started to bubble up in ava--she started to get really bouncy, and a little bit defiant, and i thought "Alarm! alarm! alarm! Must Get Child Outside in Snow!" so, despite not having snow gear, we went on a walk. best idea yet. when we returned, dinner was on the table. and roast beef is very child-friendly.

When we got home, it took the kids an hour to fall asleep, and by the time i emerged from their bedroom, Peter was out cold, so I took it upon myself to organize. This involved removing the tree. I felt a little weird, but the tree was dead dead dead. I think it was because we did not saw off a bit at the bottom before putting it in water. It never drank anything. So, after de-trimming it, I hauled it out onto the porch, and then set about cleaning up and getting toys and cds and books and movies opened and getting rid of all the packaging (aaaaaaaahhhhhhh). This turned out to be a good idea, because the toys were ready for the kids first thing the next morning, and we had a lot more room once the tree was gone. Ava noted it immediately, but i had a plan: we were going to set it up outside. and decorate it with food for the animals. Which we did, and will continue to do through the winter. I am not sure how many animals benefitted from this first round other than Rose and one very pleased red squirrel, but I am pretty sure the woodland creatures will spread the word. We also cleared a skating rink on the ice, but abandoned it when I went through close to the shore. The ice is thick enough, but the shoreline is rotten (obviously), and what good is ice if you cannot get to it?

The next day was Michaela's birthday and she came over for dinner and a movie (Dumbo). That was very fun for the kids, especially since it involved ice-cream cake.

Then yesterday Ava had skating in the morning and we went to Corey's to make day-after-birthday-cupcakes with Michaela and then off we went to the Christmas party. When we arrived, Ava was completely taken off-guard by the number of people there, but after a bit she recovered and we spent 2 hours playing and eating and learning about manners and other people's houses. She did well, and all of the guests tolerated Carter's compulsion to push a truck around their ankles. We left at 8:20, home by 9 pm. Late bedtime. Both kids were tired and cranky today, but they fell asleep by 7:30, so we are inching out way back to calm and routine.

What a week. It is getting easier, in a way, but also a lot harder.

ava, looking closely at the green peppercorns in the dry salami: "mom! are these salami seeds?! can we plant them?!"

carter is still trying to figure out who jesus is. there has been a lot of talk about this baby, and everyone seems to think he is pretty terrific, and really, there are even displays on lawns of this baby with some donkeys and a mother named mary...

since he is such a great baby, and carter is also technically the baby (which he has confirmed with me several times: "baby?" "yes, you are my baby, carter"), he naturally has upped the ante a bit:

carter, pointing to himself: "jeeejuusss"

mom: "jesus?"

carter, still pointing to himself: "yeSSS. BABY. jeeeeejussss."

apparently, in 2.5 short years, carter has figured out how to find god within himself, something that humanity has spent thousands of years reflecting upon....

apparently it's really easy. annoint yourself, smile, and give your mom a hug.

for the last hour, i have been trying to figure out if carter broke my nose this evening.

i think not, as the pain is finally subsiding, but it was touch and go there for a while. it was a total accident, we were snuggled up and he was on the left side and wanted to get on my right side so he shot up without warning and just jammed his head into my nose-- and since i was lying down, he caught it right on the bottom and basically shoved it up into my sinuses. the crack that reverberated through my brain was nauseating. i instantly developed a headache and sinus pressure. that has not gone away, though the searing pain in my nose has.

it will be interesting to see what i feel like/look like in the morning....

in other news, we went sledding today. very fun, ava built herself a jump at the end of the run, caught air and landed on her back in a pile of snow. perhaps the funniest thing i have seen in a while.

carter talks and talks and talks. now he is enjoying the fact that he can convey his desires: "mommy! turn UP!" (music). and his favorite word is "shuff" = "flush" -- though he has successfully learned to say "darn!" very clearly.

i think what i am enjoying the most about ava is that she does some really silly things that are funny in a way that can get me moved to hysterics. and she has developed that kind of uncontrollable laughter/giggling that is mature enough (now that is a weird way to assess giggling) to share with an adult. there have been multiple instances in the last few weeks where both of us are laughing uncontrollably over the same thing. that is fun. she may not be a snuggly baby anymore, but she is a fun little person.

this afternoon, as i was waiting for them at the top of the hill, i was thinking about this, watching her climb up to me, and thinking how amazing it was that this person was here, joining me in life, and she was so unique and wonderful. i felt really lucky. it is a weird thing to describe.

and while carter doesn't get or giggles, he is just so NICE. as the ladies at the ski area nursery say, "he's a good guy..." -- we have this thing where i nuzzle him, tell him i have a secret, and then whisper "i love you" in his ear. EVERY TIME i do that, he pulls his head back, looks at me, puts his hands on my cheeks and gives me a big kiss. then he hugs me tight.

i could do that 50,000,000 times a day.

oh, and also, we were reading dr seuss's alphabet book, and i got to "B" -- "big B, little b, what begins with b?" and i was just about to turn the page and say "barber, baby, bubbles and a bumble bee" when carter pointed to himself. i opened my mouth to remind him that carter started with c, when he blurted out "boy." and then "bus."

yes. you are right carter. carter may begin with c, but you definitely know what begins with b.

so carter, as i have said, is talking up a storm--but still only single words, rarely linking them--he has some phrases (thank you mommy, mommy please, mommy on, daddy home, ava no!, and his favorite, seeeet dowwwwwwwn!), but he still likes to sort of narrate word by word what is going on in his life: running! running! walking. hiding! dark! show! nutcracker! mice...trash? milk. bratwurst!...

but today, someone, who shall remain nameless in her little camp over in corey's, naively introduced him to the phrase "pooped out.." as in: "gee, i wish i could, but i am completely pooped out."

ah. nothing could be more fun to say than "pooped ooooowwwwwtttt!" and even more fun are the horrifying variations: "poop! out!" "poooooooop in!" and so on. it does not help that ava finds this outrageously funny.

i cannot wait to take him to the grocery store.

the most absurd thing happened tonight with the kids. they have been watching the barishnikov/kirkland video of the nutcracker on youtube, and both have been completely obsessed (to the point where we have to listen to it in the car all the time as well..) -- anyway, carter has upped the ante a bit where he pretends he is the nutcracker and he narrates the entire mouse-king battle (dark...clara...tree...big...mice! mice! mice!...cracker...). this evening, as it got dark outside, carter announced that clara was outside and needed to come in. so, imaginary clara came in. and sat down at the table. and then carter started to show her around the house. and then ava insisted that she was really with her at the table. and carter insisted that he had her, and then ava jumped up and took her--and then the battle over imaginary clara began. and it was a crazy all out tearful screaming battle and i was pretty much pulling my hair out and found myself saying "ava! please give clara back to carter" and then she came up with an alternative clara, and carter did not want that one, he wanted the one that ava had, and finally i had to kneel down and have ava hand me "a" clara without any commentary re how many claras there were and then i had to hand-deliver this clara to carter. it was insane. could it get any more difficult to mediate sharing than having to distribute an imaginary person??????

and then, carter stubbed his toe, and ava was all sympathy and sincerity. so totally random.

we are all pretty busy. seems like every morning we just get up and go. it is winter, so we are packing bags upon bags--ski bags for ava, and carter, skating bag for ava, diaper bag for carter, school bag for ava, snack bag, extra bag, mom-bag, and yet at the end of the day, they are all discombobulated and i have to spend a half hour re-packing everything for the morning.

we are in the throes of getting ready for christmas too--since all of our christmas stuff is packed in a box in the very bag of the storage space (seemed like a good idea in august, and i did not count on forgetting about it until the temperature was in the single digits), we are improvising this year. we got our little tree--very easy: "hi, can i help you?" "yes. please give methe smallest tree you have..." "how's this?" "perfect, thanks" "do you need help getting that in/on your car?" "nope (as tree fits horizontally in the back of the car), thanks!"

the great part of the tree-hunting was that the tree farm has horses, pigs, piglets (3 little pigs...), and some breed of steer/cow. aside from their gaseous nature, the piglets were really cute. the pigs were huge, and were carter's favorite, and ava loved the horses. we have been back several times.

as for the christmas prep at home--i got on the ball and put christmas music on the ipod, so i don't have to worry about the cds, i had santa deliver some christmas books early (such a tricky guy...), and we are making our own tree decorations--one a day. or 3, since there are 3 of us, but each day we decide on a new tree-craft. and i have been hanging up ava's art projects from school. it is actually pretty festive. fortunately they are little enough that the missing decorations are not that big a deal. and the projects are helping the kids get all super-excited.

and then i tried to make almond-brittle-praline-ish candy. it was a recipe in martha stewart's magazine. it only had sugar, water, almonds and salt. it seemed easy. i should have known better.

first, boiling sugar (ie carmelizing) is outrageously hot (340 degrees farenheit, to be precise) and it takes a while to cool. blowing on it to take a little tast does nothing to protect one's epidermal layer.

and when the recipe says "don't stir..." they mean "don't stir you idiot, because otherwise you will get a suddenly crystalizing lump of scalding hot sugar clinging to your spoon and it will end up being a crazy mess..." and remember...use a spatula to spread it on the cookie sheet, do not rely upon your fingers if you value them.

oh, and also...waxed paper and parchment paper are not interchangeable. waxed paper has wax. wax melts. and then you have waxed pralines or brittle or whatever this is. not tasty.

ultimately, after a second try, i managed to right all of my first-effort wrongs, and turns out it is pretty good. but what a chemistry lesson. candy making is NOT a child-friendly thing.