ava is back up to 102.8--3rd day of antibiotics.

i am officially going insane. of course it is thanksgiving, so no one is at the doctor's office.

i take it all back. 10 minutes after i posted that bit about the codeine she woke up coughing and proceeded to cough for the rest of the night.

max daily dose = 1/2 tsp every 24 hours.

in desperation i gave her benadryl again. after a bit though. i figured i should not totally overwhelm her system. it also did not work.

we are very tired today.

but she appears to be clearing the infection, so that is good.

i am not a codeine sort of a girl, but i can tell you that when your 5-year-old has been coughing unmercilessly for more than 24 hours, you very happily fill the prescription for robitussin with codeine--and then when she sleeps without coughing at all, you very happily reevaluate your attitude towards that particular medicine.

we went to the dr today to discuss ava's headaches, but her system had other things in mind--she managed to start coughing all over again last night, and when we got to the dr her heart rate was slightly high, and in the course of the visit it went way up and she spiked a fever. when she listened to her lungs, there were crackles. soooooo....no headache evaluations, rather some quick antibiotic prescribing and a request to return in a week or so, barring any complications.

it is frustrating, but on the other hand, at least she got to see ava when she is sick---usually ava looks like a robust healthy little girl by the time we get to the dr.

i am just so happy she is asleep. quietly asleep. and finally on antibiotics. i totally understand the antibiotic-resistant issue, but after 9 weeks of illness, i think we have put in our due dilligence, and deserve to give good old zithromax a try.

for those of you to whom i owe major communication--like a decent phone call or something, please understand that this has been really distracting and exhausting.

i am having some problems with keys on my computer sticking (or not, to be more precise). hence the many many many typos. sorry.

so, before getting back into the details of the trip, a few things from our first full day home. today, carter was playing in the bathroom, and i could hear him turning on the water in the sink, turning it off, talking to himself, etc. since i had recently taken to hiding the toothbrushes to avoid their recruitment into various cleaning projects (the dog was a recent one), i was not too worried. but, just to be on the safe side, i said "hey carter, what are you doing in there?" to which he replied:

"making a toothpaste castle!"

ah. hmmm. well, huh. that's pretty creative. now can i have the rest of the toothpaste please?

yesterday was spent unpacking and finding/cleaning all of the things that we forgot about before we left -- i thought i had removed all of the perishables, washed everything and so on, but i did find pumpkin seeds in the oven and i realized that despite removing all of the fruit etc, i forgot about the orange juice. but it was a good chance to clean the inside of the fridge, and the house was not that bad. today was the errand day: dump run, groceries, and a full scale leap back into actual cooking. i thought i was sick of cooking, but after 2 solid weeks of junk food i could not wait to make something fresh, whole, un-chemicalized, un-processed, just real. no matter how much fruit we bought on the trip, it still failed to compensate for the grease and sugar and millions of ingredients that we ended up consuming. i found it interesting to recognize how much of our diet is actually simple unprocessed foods, despite resorting to c-a-n-d-y and some other carefully selected treats on a reasonably routine basis. i guess i have always felt that if 90% of their diet is unprocessed, organic-ish, whole foods, i could care less if they get some treats. but you can be darn sure that after the 4th serving of fries in a week, they were not about to get a single skittle. that and i discovered carter has an incredible capacity for popcorn. he ate a ridiculous amount of it, and it was that fake-buttery movie-theatre poporn, and it was killing me to watch him shovel it into his mouth during the dolphin/shamu shows. i forcibly removed it from him at one point, having capitulated one too many times to the logic of "i'd rather he not whine and fuss" and when the meltdown occurred, i saw peter wince and reach for the bucket, but i became Super Assertive Mother and said "absolutely not. no more. we have food in the car." (we were exiting the park at the end of the day). there must have been something in my voice/expression that suggested imminent doom if anyone contradicted me, because that was the end of the discussion.

oh--and here's a somewhat related tangent: have you ever heard any of the discussion about Hidden Valley Ranch's secret recipe? I am not sure where i read this, but apparently it is some carefully guarded secret, they won't reveal the exact spices/herbs and their proportions blah blah blah...turns out, no one bothered to actually read the label. i'll tell you their secret: monosodium glutamate. right there, in the middle of the list. no hiding, no disguising, just plain old flavor enhancer. i guess they figured if they could keep up the mythological allure, they did not have to bother with trying to sneak it in under some other name. i find it astonishing that whatever article i read bought into the whole scam, but what a load of baloney.

anyway. today we went to Nori's (the local natural foods store) and stocked up. i ate black bean soup, falafel, a vegan blueberry muffin (remarkably good), made mashed organic potatoes, roasted a hormone-free chicken, bought tons of fruit, vegetables, dried fruit, freeze dried fruit and vegetables, fruit leather (you CANNOT get real fruit leather in the regular grocery store), and i am fally starting to feel like the toxic crud is being mopped up out of our bodies. maybe i am sounding a bit more vehement than usual, but i was really distraught by the end of the 2 weeks, when i had 2 hungry cranky kids and we could not find anything reasonable to feed them.

except! at the space center, they had fresh fruit. it says something that both kids chose bananas over chips or ice cream. they literally wolfed them down. oh, and we went to one restaurant where the waitress apologized that the lemonade was fresh-squeezed (no free refills as a result). i must have looked ridiculous when i nearly hugged her--i said "are you kidding? that is great! please don't apologize for not giving us pretend lemon flavor and corn syrup! thank you thank you thank you!"

the worst of it was that ava managed to catch a cold right before we left, and here i was desperately trying to get her better, (and then carter and then myself), and i was not able to feel confident that i had any control over what she put in her body.

speaking of ava's health, she has recovered from the cold (standard everyday virus--we all got it), but we are right back to the headaches again. same pattern. we have an appointment on tuesday--it kills me to see her struggle. on our last day at sea world, she refused to get out of the car and needed to lie down in the back because her head hurt so much. the problem is, she is so pain-intolerant that she is nearly impossible to deal with when it is at its worst, and i am at a loss. she obviously cannot keep living on motrin and tylenol. i expect that now that we are returning for the 2nd time in a month with complaints of headaches, some sort of imaging/testing will be done--given that her bloodwork was basically fine last time. one could say it is a sinus headache, but they always occur after the sinus infection is either resolved or nearly so. one would think it would happen concurrently. i don't know. try googling pediatric headache and see how confident you are after doing that. it isn't exactly helpful. is it structural? migraines? allergies? none inspire relief, and it appears that the diagnostic process is far from straightforward. i am just trying to get to tuesday without full-scale panic.

and now, i have written all of that, and none about the space center. darn, i am completely exhausted. tomorrow i guess. in brief, the phenomenal cost of admission became not so jaw dropping when we went on the tour--we were able to see a tremendous amount, and the presentation was actually well-done and as i said before, i emerged with a whole new perspective on the space program. that and the saturn V rocket is really really really huge.

i am so behind--there are many many things i have to write about, and i cannot keep my eyes open (up at 4 to make the 8 am flight out of florida). however, we are home, and had one heck of a whirlwind trip. i have no idea where to start. not only that, but i have not written about halloween, and now it is nearly thanksgiving, and there is that book -- animal, vegetable, miracle -- that i read, oh, months ago, and i still have not written about that, and i think it is an important thing to write about. so, here is at least a start:

when we arrived in florida, peter noticed on a sign that the blue angels just happened to be flying the following day at the kennedy space center, the first time they had flown there in 30 years. apparently, we had arrived just in time for the 2008 air show. so, the next day, off we went. but not before jumping in the pool and hitting the beach. ava declared the beach, and its treasures to be simply the coolest thing she had ever done. she adored the shells. and both kids loved the waves (after overcoming some fear and getting life preservers on). carter just loved the opportunity to run and run and run and run and dig and dig and dig and dig.

after some lunch, we went to the air show. apparently, we had a significant advantage coming from the south, since those coming from orlando had already spent 4 hours in bumper to bumper traffic. we were unaware of tehir plight, but it became very clear as we interacted with the world's grumpiest airshow audience. to add insult to their injury, the line for tickets was an hour long, then the line for security (high) was another hour, then the line for the bus to get to the cuaseway (hence the tickets) was another hour. these were very unhappy people. the center was doing virtually nothing to help people understand what was going on, move things along, etc. and it turned out that the parking lots filled up and people were just stuck in their cars on the road. the employees were either completely clueless about the process or they just could not explain it or they didn't care (probably a bit of all 3). it was not lost on us that customer service was NOT the kennedy space center's priority. which is sort of understandable, in the sense that we were all being carted out to the middle of a huge complex where incredibly sensitive and powerful and expensive stuff is going on--the shuttle was on the pad at that point--and then there is the small matter of the military base, etc. however, NASA is definitely in need of public support, so this seemed to be a bit of a failure on their part to improve their image. with orlando and its crowds so close, i would suggest that they go take some lessons in crowd management from the private sector. mickey would be a good contact.

anyway, we made it out there, the airshow was terrific, as expected, and we also managed to get out of there essentially unscathed. the funniest part was that as soon as the blue angels started, the return busses lined up, and people got in line to leave--there was one woman who barked at her (unhappy) husband "well dear, we really need to get going. i mean who knows how long these busses are going to take!" what in the world is the point of enduring hours of waiting so that you can voluntarily leave as soon as the headliners begin? it was a riot.

our next adventure was disney. much as i remembered, except the characters do not walk around--now they are all cordoned off so that you have to wait in a line to chat with them, and i was astonished to see how small the actual acreage is. the walkways are narrow--clearly build a long time ago, and the crowds were incredible. the kids loved it, but we never got much out of fantasyland. which was fine. the risk they take with people's safety on those rides was also amazing. we saw one show--which blew carter's mind because the evil witch from sleeping beauty suddenly appeared and he has been talking about her for weeks--ever since seeing the movie. since she turns into a dragon, and the prince has a sword and a shield, and there is a huge duel, it is carter's favorite drama right now. she was the most convincing of the group of characters up there singing and dancing, and carter's face was frozen -- jaw dropped, eyes unblinking. i don't think he took a breath the whole time she was up there. you could just see the concern/excitement in his whole being that she actually might turn into a dragon and he might be called upon to fight her. later, ava turned to me and said "mom, i know those characters in the show were not real. i could tell it was not the princesses' real hair (they had cinderella, aurora, and snow white on stage at one point), and i KNOW minnie and mickey are not that big." the rides were a hit--both loved "it's a small world" both hated the haunted house (with good reason), both loved the peter pan ride, pirates of the carribean, the bear show, dumbo, the rockets, and the race cars. ava and i both loved the teacups, carter did not, and peter looked a bit pale. somehow we managed to get out of there without purchasing one souvenir.

my overall impression was generally positive, but the crowds really made it difficult. later in the trip, ava would conclude that she liked sea world better--because she can feed the dolphins there. this is not a huge surprise--she loves rides and all that, but she is so serious and such a sponge that the more information-saturated experience of seaworld was more compelling. but if you ask her how disney was, she has nothing but glowing reviews. carter never really commented one way or another, but i think the whole trip merged into one huge amusement park for him. personally, that is how i ended up feeling at the end too.

the following day we went to sea world, and did the usual stuff--shamu, dolphins, the happy harbor (where the attendant almost barred me from the kiddie teacups b/c i was pregnant) and some other animal interactions.

then the next day (did i mention each of these trips is an hour's drive from the beach? we spent a LOT of time in the car, and i learned that the kids have finally hit the stage where they can be transferred asleep from car to bed without waking, a huge bonus) we went to sea world's new water park, "Aquatica" -- very very very fun. kid-centered, lots of things both of them could do. we pretty much spent 7 hours in the water. it was the only place where i did not hear screaming--as in crying--kids. disney and seaworld are filled with meltdowns. water park? nope. the only meltdowns were when children were being rounded up to leave.

an aside: florida is hardly an environmentalist's dream state.

the day after that we went back to seaworld, and then the next day was the shuttle launch, so we did not budge from our prime spot next to the beach. no one was willing to risk getting stuck in the traffic coming from orlando-- we had seen that up close and personal already.

as noted before, the launch was incredible. i think ava was the most amazed, just unable to understand in advance exactly how huge the fire from the rockets would be. she had assumed someone lit a wick under the shuttle, then ran for dear life, and the magnitude of the explosion had her gaping. carter thought it was very cool, but he was upset that he could not see the windows on the shuttle. i could not adequately explain that the minimum safe distance is 3 miles, and no one gets to see the windows, really.

the next day we talked and researched and learned a lot about the shuttle, and by the end of the day, both kids understood that there are 2 rocket boosters that get recovered, one external fuel tank which does not get recovered, and the shuttle itself, which returns like a plane. the concept of the space station was a bit vague and both clung fiercely to the notion that the shuttle was going to the moon.

the next day we drove even further to see cypress gardens. great water-ski show, but it was the last day before they were closing for rennovations and the crowds were huge and they were understaffed, so that was sort of hard. it was a weird experience--like being transported back a few generations to an old-school amusement park. but again, fun. in an exhausting, amusement park sort of way.

however, the shuttle launch really had us ready to reevaluate our previous assessment of the kennedy space center, and we returned to actually see the center itself. it was so worth it. they had not really improved upon their communications skills when it came to getting tickets -- there were about a hundred different options, and it was impossible to tell what you would get with each option, but in the end it all sorted itself out. we were able to go for 2 days, so on the 1st day we explored the main visitor's center, with the rockets and capsules on display in the rocket garden, an imax movie about the space station, a killer playground (perhaps the best yet), a chance to meet an astronaut -- not interesting for the kids, since he was not in a space-suit -- and a chance to peek inside a space shuttle. but it was the second day that the real magic happened.

i cannot stay awake another moment, but i promise to finish tomorrow. all i can say is that the teachers in my elementary school years definitely failed to take advantage of an incredible story and learning opportunity. if i had known then what i now know as a result of this trip, i would have been blown away and hugely motivated. i cannot believe that in the years leading up to the shuttle launch, we did nothing more than learn about the planets. no one ever told me how dramatic the first moon landing was, or even the events leading to that mission. i ended up walking around mourning the missed opporunity, grumbling that i could not believe "my teachers never told me THAT. or THAT! can you believe they never explained this???" and so on.

one other thing: when you spend 2 weeks at various amusement parks, etc., where you cannot bring outside food in, and you depend upon them for both lunch and dinner, you start to 1. feel like crap from all the junk you have no option but to consume and 2. understand the health crisis that is plaguing this country. when i arrived home this afternoon, i immediately baked and consumed 2 large acorn squash. i almose ate an entire can of beans -- from the can-- anything to excape the greasy sugary goo that we had been eating nonstop. it is a real tragedy that food is such a low priority for so many people. and scary.

anyway, more tomorrow. the tour of the space center, carter's swimming, the massive headcold that we brought to florida, the airport, ava's headaches (sigh) etc.

more on the trip later, but quickly:

we decided to stay a bit longer, and tonight we got to watch the space shuttle launch.

unbelievable.

i mean, really, really unbelievable.

carter has declared himself an astronaut. ava has declared herself a scientist.

i love it.

ava is missing 2 weeks of school, but this is worth practically half the year!

ok, so finally things are over. halloween, the election, etc. i can finally relax. what? i can't? we are going to florida? in 2 days? are you kidding???

yup, i get to go on "vacation"! in 2 days. with no prior warning. in my book, increasing the stress in ordeto relax zeros out the gain! sort of. i am still pretty happy about it, now that i have resigned myself to scrambling for the next 24 hours. and there is a bit of pleasure in being able to say "hey. you do it (insert whatever undesirable task you can think of--taking the dog to the vet for example). this was not my idea."

halloween was fun, exhausting and quite a challenge to simultaneously provide a steady stream of sugar in the form of candy, cookies, halloween party treats, etc and yet also regulate the emotions of 2 small children so that they could actually make it through the day. more later.

as for the election, yes, i am very pleased that obama won. honestly, primarily because sarah scared the poop out of me. voting was a bit of a challenge but accomplished. but i do have to say my mood was not the elated one that many others have had. the uglier aspects of this election really have gotten me down, and while it is obvious that we made history etc etc, we also exposed a festering wound in this country that has been hidden (or at least bandaged) for a while. of course we all knew it was there, but having all of the racism (and misogyny earlier in the campaign) come to the surface in the way that it did put a damper on my celebration. i won't put a damper on other's celebration any further, but that is my take away from this.

on a much different note, ava's skating has literally taken off. since i know so little about the sport, i cannot speak intelligently about it, but she has been progressing through the levels (you have to meet a certain set of milestones for each level, assessed by a certified teacher and then you move up. ) right now ava is in basic 5, about to pass into basic 6. this is meaningless to most people, but i wish i could adequately explain the physical progression she is making. she is just soaking up the instruction and really getting it. it is really rewarding for her, so that is great. she is very very proud of herself. it is like she suddenly understands her body.

and carter as well--he finally decided that it is fun, and he is making progress too. which is great.