anna is reaching somewhat successfully for things now--she seems to have understood how her arms and hands are for, and now when i hold her, she holds on. this may not sound earth-shattering, but there is nothing that feels so good as when a baby suddenly returns the hug. granted, her 'hug' is not infused with the same emotion as mine, and is more of a 'oh thank god, mom is here and i am not alone' but it is still a wonderful recognition.
she can obviously see more now too--when she is awake, her eyes are wide open (she has huge eyes), and she cranes her head around every way she can to take in her surroundings. and she makes tons of noises at us when we make eye contact. she does this funny thing in the back of her throat which is her first greeting, then she usually makes some coos and gurgles.
and her neck is getting strong. when she is on her tummy or on my shoulder, she can easily pick up her head and turn it the other way.
but the funniest thing is that she pumps her right leg up and down just like ava used to. when she is getting her diaper changed, she looks like she is pretending to ride a scooter or skateboard. she is starting to look more like ava too. though she still looks like she might be more of a redhead. i don't know why, because her hair is not really red, but there is something about her coloring that makes me think that. it might have to do with the red stork bites on her eyelids. when those fade, i think we might have a better idea of what/who she is going to look like.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
anna lost her umblical cord stump yesterday. now we can have real baths! her first one was today and despite the initial grimace, once she got over the shock, she adored it.
today i was driving carter home, and he said "mommy, how do people get up there?"
"where honey?"
"up there, where they play that game"
(???)
"what game?"
"that game where people wear shorts"
(??? now, it is still winter here, so i can see absolutely no visual cues to what he might be thinking of)
"shorts? can you tell me more about the game?"
"yes, shorts...you know...oh, what is it...TENNIS! yes, tennis! mom, how do you get to that tennis court?"
he had spotted the fence of a court high on a hill, a court i have NEVER registered as existing, despite driving by it daily. i told where the door was, and then, of course, he announced that he wanted to play. i guess we need to get some shorts.
tonight was the science fair at school. ava had a blast. though i made her wear her uniform which apparently was not required. she was a bit mad at me for that for 10 seconds, then was drawn into the hustle and bustle. more on her project later...
before we left though, she maade anna a dress. she chose to glue it, vs sew, in order to save time, but she really, honestly fashioned a dress out of felt for her. and she was VERY PROUD.
today i was driving carter home, and he said "mommy, how do people get up there?"
"where honey?"
"up there, where they play that game"
(???)
"what game?"
"that game where people wear shorts"
(??? now, it is still winter here, so i can see absolutely no visual cues to what he might be thinking of)
"shorts? can you tell me more about the game?"
"yes, shorts...you know...oh, what is it...TENNIS! yes, tennis! mom, how do you get to that tennis court?"
he had spotted the fence of a court high on a hill, a court i have NEVER registered as existing, despite driving by it daily. i told where the door was, and then, of course, he announced that he wanted to play. i guess we need to get some shorts.
tonight was the science fair at school. ava had a blast. though i made her wear her uniform which apparently was not required. she was a bit mad at me for that for 10 seconds, then was drawn into the hustle and bustle. more on her project later...
before we left though, she maade anna a dress. she chose to glue it, vs sew, in order to save time, but she really, honestly fashioned a dress out of felt for her. and she was VERY PROUD.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
it is mud season. carter is very pleased about this. mom, not so much. however, both kids are so ready to be outside, i grit my teeth, put them in their waterproof rain pants, warm coat, mittens (rolling my eyes at this step, since it will be all of 5 minutes before tehy are soaked), and boots and off to the playground we go. most of the playgrounds are drying up, but they all have some spectacular puddles, and after an hour or 2 we return home where i chase them up the stairs to the house, saying "do NOT go inside until every last stitch of muddy clothing is off!"
given that i have an infant, sometimes it is a good 4 hours until i remember about the pile of muddy clothes outside our front door, and i cringe at what the neighbors think.
speaking of said infant, she is definitely getting longer and bigger and more engaged. she has spent lots of time just looking around, curious, and she continues to coo at the radiator. she is desperately trying to reach for things, and spends a lot of time concentrating on her hands -- without looking at them though. occasionally her hand will make its way to her cheek, and she will freeze, contemplating this new coordination of touch--2 surfaces communicating to her brain. and she is getting stronger--when she is lying down on her tummy, she can pick her head up and turn it from one side to the other, and when she is on my shoulder, sometimes she will pick her head up to turn and look at me. she also has been more responsive to my arrival when she wants to be retrieved from her bouncy seat, and seems to have begun to snuggle a little. of all 3 kids, she appears to have the fairest skin--carter is obviously the darkest, with his father's olive skin, and ava has nearly translucent skin, but it has a warm cast to it, that seems to be due to some yellow undertones like mom, but anna has superbly fair skin--with blue undertones, i think. it obviously remains to be seen, but her hands are incredibly porcelain-ish.
and, if i may say so (after 2 kids that look nothing like me, i think it is fair for me to say so), there is something that i cannot put my finger on that makes me think she actually might look like me. albeit with different coloring.
and the other thing that she has developed is the genuine crumply lower lip. she used to just holler, but it was not distressing--it was just indescriminate noise creation stating a need. but now, if she is startled or something hurts, she will first crumple up her lip and before she cries will sort of say "mmmmmmmmmm....aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!" and then truly cry. it nearly makes me cry all the time.
both kids continue to adore her. phew.
given that i have an infant, sometimes it is a good 4 hours until i remember about the pile of muddy clothes outside our front door, and i cringe at what the neighbors think.
speaking of said infant, she is definitely getting longer and bigger and more engaged. she has spent lots of time just looking around, curious, and she continues to coo at the radiator. she is desperately trying to reach for things, and spends a lot of time concentrating on her hands -- without looking at them though. occasionally her hand will make its way to her cheek, and she will freeze, contemplating this new coordination of touch--2 surfaces communicating to her brain. and she is getting stronger--when she is lying down on her tummy, she can pick her head up and turn it from one side to the other, and when she is on my shoulder, sometimes she will pick her head up to turn and look at me. she also has been more responsive to my arrival when she wants to be retrieved from her bouncy seat, and seems to have begun to snuggle a little. of all 3 kids, she appears to have the fairest skin--carter is obviously the darkest, with his father's olive skin, and ava has nearly translucent skin, but it has a warm cast to it, that seems to be due to some yellow undertones like mom, but anna has superbly fair skin--with blue undertones, i think. it obviously remains to be seen, but her hands are incredibly porcelain-ish.
and, if i may say so (after 2 kids that look nothing like me, i think it is fair for me to say so), there is something that i cannot put my finger on that makes me think she actually might look like me. albeit with different coloring.
and the other thing that she has developed is the genuine crumply lower lip. she used to just holler, but it was not distressing--it was just indescriminate noise creation stating a need. but now, if she is startled or something hurts, she will first crumple up her lip and before she cries will sort of say "mmmmmmmmmm....aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!" and then truly cry. it nearly makes me cry all the time.
both kids continue to adore her. phew.
Monday, March 16, 2009
anna is starting to uncurl herself and take stock of her new surroundings. like carter, she was unwilling to disengage from her cherished fetal position, preferring to huddle her scrawny limbs -- just like his were -- to her warm body. ava as absolutely not like that. she came out of me and immediately stretched herself to her full length, looking around her with eyes that pretty much said "oh, thank god i can finally move...now, what is this place all about??" carter and anna spent a week avoiding their new reality, enjoying the comfort of sleep. but now, anna has decided that she sort of finds being awake interesting, and most enjoys looking at the radiator next to her changing spot. it of course is a pattern of vertical stripes, and she just adors it. she will stare and stare at it, occasionally making a gurglng sound of pleasure, sometimes pursing her lips in a teeny tiny little "o," while her eyes open as far as they can, and then every once in a while a squeal will come out. it's really cute. when i get down next to her, face to face, she does the same thing, and she is clearly starting to recognize everyone else.
she is being doted on 24/7 by everyone. she is everyone's little girl and it is very cute. ava and carter cannot stop nuzzling and kissing and petting her.
her stork bites are sort of starting to fade--hopefully the one on her eyelid mellows out. right now it does give her eye a bit of a swollen look, but her weight gain is starting to show--her face is rounding out a bit, and she is losing the wrinkled newborn look. she was weighed today and came in at 8 lbs, 7 oz, so she has gained a pound in a week, which is superb. i am not sure what her eyes are going to do. they look pretty blue still, but every once in a while the light catches them and i wonder if i see a change towards a different color. still too soon to tell. but my favorite thing is that she squeaks in her sleep. it is this inhale of breath that she does that makes a high pitched squeak, and it looks like she does it when dreaming.
her fingers and toes are ridiculously long. again, like carter. ava had puppy hands. the younger 2 have very delicate hands. anna's toes are by far the longest i have ever seen. of her entire foot length, i swear they are at least 1/3. i have long toes, but these are crazy.
as for myself, i feel superb. i had no idea how awful i had been feeling until she was no longer inside. my appetite is back, and all i want are high-nutrient veggie-type foods vs the steady diet of dry cheerios that i had in the last few weeks of my pregnancy. i am so pleased to finally be hungry again, to not be nauseous, to not be dry heaving throughout every day, to be able to feel like exercising, to not have a stuffed up nose, to wake up and be motivated to get up and do things, vs beg to stay in bed, to just feel healthy. we all walked around the lake 2 days in a row, celebrating the great weather, and i could not believe how great it felt. i pushed 100 lbs of kids/stroller weight and kept thinking how just a few weeks ago that would have been virtually impossible. and my ankles are no longer swollen. admittedly, that was a postpartum issue, not a pregnancy thing, but wow. when your ankles and feet swell to the point of not being able to distinguish or feel a bone anywhere, it is really upsetting. granted, the loss of that extra fluid occurs mostly at night, and i tend to wake up in an absolute puddle of sweat, but i figure people pay good money for the chance to sweat out toxins in a little hot room, why should i complain if my body chooses to do it for free in my comfy bed? the only down side is if i don't have time to shower before taking ava to school. then it is not such an advantage.
she is being doted on 24/7 by everyone. she is everyone's little girl and it is very cute. ava and carter cannot stop nuzzling and kissing and petting her.
her stork bites are sort of starting to fade--hopefully the one on her eyelid mellows out. right now it does give her eye a bit of a swollen look, but her weight gain is starting to show--her face is rounding out a bit, and she is losing the wrinkled newborn look. she was weighed today and came in at 8 lbs, 7 oz, so she has gained a pound in a week, which is superb. i am not sure what her eyes are going to do. they look pretty blue still, but every once in a while the light catches them and i wonder if i see a change towards a different color. still too soon to tell. but my favorite thing is that she squeaks in her sleep. it is this inhale of breath that she does that makes a high pitched squeak, and it looks like she does it when dreaming.
her fingers and toes are ridiculously long. again, like carter. ava had puppy hands. the younger 2 have very delicate hands. anna's toes are by far the longest i have ever seen. of her entire foot length, i swear they are at least 1/3. i have long toes, but these are crazy.
as for myself, i feel superb. i had no idea how awful i had been feeling until she was no longer inside. my appetite is back, and all i want are high-nutrient veggie-type foods vs the steady diet of dry cheerios that i had in the last few weeks of my pregnancy. i am so pleased to finally be hungry again, to not be nauseous, to not be dry heaving throughout every day, to be able to feel like exercising, to not have a stuffed up nose, to wake up and be motivated to get up and do things, vs beg to stay in bed, to just feel healthy. we all walked around the lake 2 days in a row, celebrating the great weather, and i could not believe how great it felt. i pushed 100 lbs of kids/stroller weight and kept thinking how just a few weeks ago that would have been virtually impossible. and my ankles are no longer swollen. admittedly, that was a postpartum issue, not a pregnancy thing, but wow. when your ankles and feet swell to the point of not being able to distinguish or feel a bone anywhere, it is really upsetting. granted, the loss of that extra fluid occurs mostly at night, and i tend to wake up in an absolute puddle of sweat, but i figure people pay good money for the chance to sweat out toxins in a little hot room, why should i complain if my body chooses to do it for free in my comfy bed? the only down side is if i don't have time to shower before taking ava to school. then it is not such an advantage.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
not that i am complaining, but ava's art projects are completely taking over our house. as noted a couple of times before, she is not a 2-dimensional sort of gal. oh, no. paintings and drawings are fine, but she won't spontaneously sit down and do them (however, she will write notes and tape them all over the house--currently we have "hape estr estr bune love ava and carter" on our front door--what i love about these is that she does not ask for my help in spelling. she just does her best to figure it out, and it serves as a nice kesson in how many silent letters we have in our language, as well as how her ear hears certain words. for a long time, she thought "and" was just "ad." this is helpful when trying to teach her). but, if she is given her choice, what she would really like to do is make things. in the past 2 weeks or so, she has made 2 vases out of selzer bottles, in which she asked us to cut off the top, then tape the sharp part with duct tape, then she glues flower petals to the bottle. all entirely her idea. then there are the 4 plastic strawberry containers filled with rose petals drying on her dresser, we have 2 yogurt containers with rose seeds in them on the counter for planting later this year, and today she decided to cover a large yogurt container with yellow paper, then cut up a seltzer bottle into little 1/2 inch squares of plastic, which she is now gluing on top of the yellow paper, in a clear mosaic effect. this is also all her idea--and is based on a candle holder she saw in the indian restaurant that she and i went to (where she enthusiastically ate 2 plates of basmati rice, nothing else, and declared herself a fan of indian food. we'll have to work on that). then of course we have what seems like hundreds of "supply" containers--full of glue and water, water and soap (no idea what that one is for), empty tea boxes filled with a variety of things, and on and on and on.
carter, for his part is far more interested in things like mazes, and painting, and drawing. but his absolute favorite is tape, scissors and glue. most of his creations are easily hung on the walls, but the fall out from the effort is distressing. i am so tired of little pieces of paper all over the floor, but hey, when he announces "mom! i made pants for santa!" (out of black construction paper) all the vacuuming is worth it.
carter, for his part is far more interested in things like mazes, and painting, and drawing. but his absolute favorite is tape, scissors and glue. most of his creations are easily hung on the walls, but the fall out from the effort is distressing. i am so tired of little pieces of paper all over the floor, but hey, when he announces "mom! i made pants for santa!" (out of black construction paper) all the vacuuming is worth it.
One week:
Anna is now one week old, and we are starting to have a little routine. Well, routine is a strong word, but we are all getting used to each other. She went on her first outing to the skating arena on Sunday, and that worked out ok, as I had her in the Bjorn and she was still pretty happy to just sleep. However, chasing after Carter when he was finished skating and Ava was still on the ice was a tad complicated. On Monday, I took her to Ava’s drop off, where Ava was so anxious to introduce Anna to everyone. I was panicked over the germs floating around that cinderblock petri dish, but we managed to get in and out before the hordes arrived. Both kids are desperate to show off the baby to anyone willing to look. This is so great—they both have an instinctive pride and protective drive which is a huge relief. That afternoon, Carter managed to cut his head on a table, and we had to go to the urgent care center for steri strips and glue, and as a result we did not go to skating. Carter was relieved to not have stitches, though he hates the glue. To quote him exactly: “Mom! The glue is KILLING me!” We continued to tackle school on Tuesday and Wednesday, though Ava regressed a bit and did not want to go—we had some tears on those mornings. It has been such a difficult winter navigating the kindergarten substitute snafu, and I am so close to losing my temper over it. However, it is literally less than 10 hours of classroom time before it is over, so we are just going to weather the storm. On Thursday, the kids had a half day (really a 2-hour day) and then Ava went to Drama Club, a new activity. As predicted, she loved it. Has not stopped talking about it. It helps that she gets to be a unicorn, and they sing “Do you believe in magic…” (a song I am now very tired of hearing in my head for hours every night as I try to go to sleep). Then, in a display of parenting skills I am very proud of, I managed to take all three kids out to lunch and to the arena for Ava to work on her routine for a total of 3 hours. It was truly exhausting, but I managed it without any huge issues. Friday was spent at home, very peacefully getting through all of the requisite chores, a pace I definitely appreciated. I have noticed that if we have things to do/places to go, then usually one major task gets ignored for the day. Which is fine, but it is a great feeling to feel like everything has been accomplished, even if that includes just getting fingernails clipped. Each evening, I am completely physically exhausted, but it is such a great feeling to be that sort of tired instead of pregnancy tired.
Anna is now one week old, and we are starting to have a little routine. Well, routine is a strong word, but we are all getting used to each other. She went on her first outing to the skating arena on Sunday, and that worked out ok, as I had her in the Bjorn and she was still pretty happy to just sleep. However, chasing after Carter when he was finished skating and Ava was still on the ice was a tad complicated. On Monday, I took her to Ava’s drop off, where Ava was so anxious to introduce Anna to everyone. I was panicked over the germs floating around that cinderblock petri dish, but we managed to get in and out before the hordes arrived. Both kids are desperate to show off the baby to anyone willing to look. This is so great—they both have an instinctive pride and protective drive which is a huge relief. That afternoon, Carter managed to cut his head on a table, and we had to go to the urgent care center for steri strips and glue, and as a result we did not go to skating. Carter was relieved to not have stitches, though he hates the glue. To quote him exactly: “Mom! The glue is KILLING me!” We continued to tackle school on Tuesday and Wednesday, though Ava regressed a bit and did not want to go—we had some tears on those mornings. It has been such a difficult winter navigating the kindergarten substitute snafu, and I am so close to losing my temper over it. However, it is literally less than 10 hours of classroom time before it is over, so we are just going to weather the storm. On Thursday, the kids had a half day (really a 2-hour day) and then Ava went to Drama Club, a new activity. As predicted, she loved it. Has not stopped talking about it. It helps that she gets to be a unicorn, and they sing “Do you believe in magic…” (a song I am now very tired of hearing in my head for hours every night as I try to go to sleep). Then, in a display of parenting skills I am very proud of, I managed to take all three kids out to lunch and to the arena for Ava to work on her routine for a total of 3 hours. It was truly exhausting, but I managed it without any huge issues. Friday was spent at home, very peacefully getting through all of the requisite chores, a pace I definitely appreciated. I have noticed that if we have things to do/places to go, then usually one major task gets ignored for the day. Which is fine, but it is a great feeling to feel like everything has been accomplished, even if that includes just getting fingernails clipped. Each evening, I am completely physically exhausted, but it is such a great feeling to be that sort of tired instead of pregnancy tired.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
The story, continued…
On Friday morning, at some point the pediatrician came in to check Anna (as yet unnamed). He confirmed that I was nursing her, and said “I understand that you have done this before?” And I said yes, and then he asked how long I had nursed the other 2 kids. When I said four and a half and three and a half years, he pretty much exploded with excitement. He literally could not contain his glee. “That’s SO great!” he kept saying. The statistics regarding nursing just kept pouring out of him. Peter found it to be so funny. He said later, “it must have been great to get that sort of recognition and confirmation from him” and I agreed. It is nice to have the backing of the doctors, though I have never had any of the difficulties or judgment that other women have experienced. Several hours after she was born, they got me up for a shower and to move me to a postpartum room. Walking after an epidural is very strange. I managed to do it, but only a few steps. I was cleaned up, moved to a teeny tiny postpartum room, and that was where Peter and I absolutely collapsed into the deepest sleep ever. Anna was on Peter’s chest, and I really remember very little. Later in the day, the kids and Nana joined us, and it was a really amazing moment to sit on the bed with all 3 kids. They were both so excited and so happy to see her, and it was just perfect. Both of them were completely excited to see the baby. Then the kids and Peter left to go to the hotel, Nana went back home, and I fell asleep for 12 hours, interrupted of course by the mandatory checks of my vitals and the baby’s vitals.
The next day, I was hot to trot to go home. My doctor gave me the thumbs up, and then the pediatrician came in. It was a different doctor this time, and I had been warned that he was pretty conservative about letting babies go home a day early. But somehow, despite my frumpled hospital-gown, messy hair, clearly not pulled together state, I managed to convince him of my competence as a mother, and he decided to let me go. So, all that was left to do was get my rhogam shot, take care of some other details, and of course, name the baby. Peter and the kids arrived, Ava decided to hang out with me, and Peter took Carter back to the hotel to swim for the morning. And thus began a series of conference calls, all in an effort to come to a 4-way agreement on what this child should be named. We managed to all agree on Anna for a first name, and then it took another 2 hours or so of wrangling over a middle name. Meanwhile, I was absolutely desperate to get out of the hospital, and I was feeling more and more like a caged animal. Finally we agreed on Sophia, and we were able to complete the paperwork, much to the relief of the administrative staff. Somehow we managed to get out of the hospital, and on our way home.
Once home, there were a series of events that triggered the release of all of Ava’s pent up exhaustion and stress, which was pretty vast, given that she had held it together for 48 hours straight, despite the pretty real trauma of Mom disappearing, and she completely melted. We managed to repair the damage, get some dinner into her, and hustle the kids into bed. The following morning, all was fine again. And then the task of figuring ourselves out as a family of five actually began.
On Friday morning, at some point the pediatrician came in to check Anna (as yet unnamed). He confirmed that I was nursing her, and said “I understand that you have done this before?” And I said yes, and then he asked how long I had nursed the other 2 kids. When I said four and a half and three and a half years, he pretty much exploded with excitement. He literally could not contain his glee. “That’s SO great!” he kept saying. The statistics regarding nursing just kept pouring out of him. Peter found it to be so funny. He said later, “it must have been great to get that sort of recognition and confirmation from him” and I agreed. It is nice to have the backing of the doctors, though I have never had any of the difficulties or judgment that other women have experienced. Several hours after she was born, they got me up for a shower and to move me to a postpartum room. Walking after an epidural is very strange. I managed to do it, but only a few steps. I was cleaned up, moved to a teeny tiny postpartum room, and that was where Peter and I absolutely collapsed into the deepest sleep ever. Anna was on Peter’s chest, and I really remember very little. Later in the day, the kids and Nana joined us, and it was a really amazing moment to sit on the bed with all 3 kids. They were both so excited and so happy to see her, and it was just perfect. Both of them were completely excited to see the baby. Then the kids and Peter left to go to the hotel, Nana went back home, and I fell asleep for 12 hours, interrupted of course by the mandatory checks of my vitals and the baby’s vitals.
The next day, I was hot to trot to go home. My doctor gave me the thumbs up, and then the pediatrician came in. It was a different doctor this time, and I had been warned that he was pretty conservative about letting babies go home a day early. But somehow, despite my frumpled hospital-gown, messy hair, clearly not pulled together state, I managed to convince him of my competence as a mother, and he decided to let me go. So, all that was left to do was get my rhogam shot, take care of some other details, and of course, name the baby. Peter and the kids arrived, Ava decided to hang out with me, and Peter took Carter back to the hotel to swim for the morning. And thus began a series of conference calls, all in an effort to come to a 4-way agreement on what this child should be named. We managed to all agree on Anna for a first name, and then it took another 2 hours or so of wrangling over a middle name. Meanwhile, I was absolutely desperate to get out of the hospital, and I was feeling more and more like a caged animal. Finally we agreed on Sophia, and we were able to complete the paperwork, much to the relief of the administrative staff. Somehow we managed to get out of the hospital, and on our way home.
Once home, there were a series of events that triggered the release of all of Ava’s pent up exhaustion and stress, which was pretty vast, given that she had held it together for 48 hours straight, despite the pretty real trauma of Mom disappearing, and she completely melted. We managed to repair the damage, get some dinner into her, and hustle the kids into bed. The following morning, all was fine again. And then the task of figuring ourselves out as a family of five actually began.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)